Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Gazette Now Biweekly

Due to the Holidays and the recent city's quietness, the Syn City Gazette will now be published biweekly.  The next issue will be released Sunday, December 1st.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Syn City Gazette: Issue 12

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Syn City Gazette
Issue 12
November 17, 2013
Editor-in-Chief - Crissy Forster
Price: 10 Brunsens - 1 issue, 30 Brunsens - Monthly Subscription
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Table of Contents

❖Page 1 - In the News:  Keep up-to-date on current events and what's happening in Syn City.
❖Page 2 - Announcements
❖Page 3 - Who's Who - Here, you will get to know your friends and neighbors, perhaps in a way that surprises you!
❖Page 4 - Lifestyles: Dear Abby, Rumour Has It, Shout Outs
❖Page 5 - Creative Writing Shared
❖Page 6 - Letter to the Editor
❖Page 7 - Want Ads
❖Page 8 - Advertisements

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Page 1: In the News
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DA MOVING INTO VIPER TERRITORY


     The past several weeks, DA has been quiet, not really doing a whole lot as far as the fighting scene is concerned, it's now known why. They've been quietly working their way into Viper territory. What started out as owning one shop, the Bodega, it's turned into them owning the same number of businesses within what was previously known as Viper territory as the Vipers. They acquired the Pizza shop not long ago and have now acquired the Cafe as well. Is it as simple as citizens trying to make their way in this City or is DA attempting to take over Viper territory?




 

THE DATING SCENE FORECAST
Written by: Anonymous


     Single females of Syn are topping or at very least emulating their rivals. Fighting for the attention of both single men and bisexual women. Some are getting big boob jobs, some are getting big booty jobs, some are going big time with both jobs. Taken females are harvesting this this year's plentiful harvest by collaring those desperate and willing females for themselves. Their husbands are not complaining and benefiting in the bedroom.

My love forecast for next month is to expect more females to submit to any takers. Syn City is a tunnel of love where boats are rowed upstream together. Singing Kumbaya and swinging sex partners. The lonely are to get surgery and submit. Your heart is in need of total guidance. Don't drown in the deep whirlpool of depression.

Embrace The Evolution of Love.

~ Guardian of Love ~
ღღ Lovenominous ღღ



A CITY AT PEACE


      This week Syn has been exceptionally quiet and peaceful. For some, that means being able to do what they've been unable to lately due to acts of violence. For others, it means boredom and looking for trouble but for most, it means hanging out with friends and conducting business. There's been an increase in business activities this past week which will hopefully make an impact on Syn's failing economy if the peacefulness continues. Though the hostilities are still there and always will be along with the random fights that break out, it seems that overall Syn's been a much quieter peaceful place. If you find yourself bored, you might look at spending time with those who you're closest to. The holidays are coming up...get your shopping done, plan parties, work on growing yourself as a person and becoming prosperous in the City. One thing that's a must...enjoy it while it lasts, it's doubtful it'll last for long.




SYN CITY'S TOP 10
MOST BANGABLE MALES & FEMALES


      Last week, the Gazette brought you an unofficial poll that had been brought to their attention. These week, they bring you the official poll conducted by themselves. Votes were received through anonymous letters as well as texts by people who will be kept anonymous as well. The incoming of the votes started out slow but then people started letting their opinions be known and the results were much different then the previous poll. The votes were counted and recounted and the final Top Ten Banger's List for Males and Females is listed below. The Gazette chose not to print the Leave Em List due to the emotional impact it could cause for many. The Gazette is merely informing it's readers of the outcome of the poll and in no way agrees or disagrees with the list or made any changes.
There were several that were tied so they are listed in the order that their name was first received. As you can tell, it was indeed a close race! Thank you to our wonderful readers for participating in this week's poll! Keep your eyes open for more polls in the future.

Banger list female                                      Banger list male
1.  Halo (9)                                                     1.    Von (10)
2.  Crissy (8)                                                   2.    Damen (9)
3.  Kylie  (8)                                                    3.    Fyng (8)
4.  Samara (5)                                                 4.    Moses (4)
5.  Fiona (5)                                                    5.    Zeke (4)
6.  Athena (3)                                                  6.    Black (4)
7.  Snarkie (3)                                                 7.    Lamont (3)
8.  Steff (3)                                                      8.    Maximus (3)
9.  Sere (3)                                                       9.    JJ (3)
10. Precious (3)                                               10.  Dan, Shink, Dire, Perv (2)
11. Celestia (3)                                      



COUNCIL MEETING
                                                      

     Thursday, the council met for the second time in two weeks with a packed agenda continuing from where they have left off along with brand new ideas. Citizens also waited patiently until after the meeting was adjourned to share their thoughts.
      The first item on the agenda was the previously passed Jobs Bill that needed to be reworked before being implemented. Currently the council's focus is on the hospital. Jobs Bill Committee chair Dolly shared feedback she had received from hospital staff members regarding salaries, activity, thoughts on currently proposed and passed laws. She then shared the conclusion hospital Admin Eddy and herself came to that this problem must be solved from both ends with the ideal solution being somewhere in the middle of the council passing bills that support the hospital along with the hospital doing a better job on reaching out and making internal improvements. A revised Jobs Bill is planned to be presented at the next council meeting.
      After the Jobs Bill, the discussion turned toward Dolly's economic plan regarding a receipts system that would help with future economic proposals. Shink stated most of the city is against recording every transaction while Dolly defended by mentioning business owners who support her idea and that it was a voluntary system. Mayor Whacked stepped in to remind everyone that isn't about who supports it but how to make the plan work. It was decided a committee will be formed consisting of 3 council members and 2 business owners to study Dolly's economic plan and present results to the next council meeting.
      The second half of the meeting the council switched gears with new proposals, Shink's Walking Wounded Act which would enforce the wounded to go to the hospital instead of bleeding on the streets. A committee lead by councilor Shink Daddy was formed to iron out a votable bill within the next month. As things stand now, it may be difficult for the PD to enforce based on feedback from Chief Fyng.
      The other new proposal was Whacked's Destiny Complex Project or also known as Destiny One Tower, a glorious mirror-like building that is millions of miles high to give all the bastards of Syn hope. The building itself will be the new city hall that will reside in the lot next to the hospital that will require a bond election to fund.
      Although the meeting has already extended the other, it went into overtime as two citizens waited patiently to voice their concerns. Police Chief Fyng talked to the council about adding new laws regarding trespassing and resisting arrest. Gold N Guns owner Lester Johnson voiced his troubles with the current business environment stating brunsens are useless other than for licenses and bail.

     The council plan to meet again in 2 weeks.


 TROUBLESOME THREESOME STRIKES AGAIN

    Sunday night, Snarkie and the twins got arrested.  The bail was set to 150 k. each.  As they misbehaved  at the SCPD,  the fines just kept growing.  They trashed the PD as they where held in the station causing a rather hefty bill for Sinners and Oso.  Chief Muffin was praying for the Sinner's Captain to get them in control and out of the PD.  The Sinner Captain believed that the twins were having a phsychotic episode.  Even the Sinner Captain could not get them in order and asked Chief Fyng to put them in a cell, but Chief Fyng refused.  After being released, one of the twins stole a police cruiser.  The charges against them were destruction to property....resisting arrest....arson....assault....grand theft auto, two counts.  Plus 2k per flashbangs which there where many.  Snarkie and Amy also got charges from an incident which happened earlier for a violation of an SCPD officer's property.
    Snarkie tried to make a deal with Chief Fyng after she was escorted out of the PD.  Chief Fyng's ignoring Snarkie's pleas for a deal lead to Snarkie having a temper tantrum.  The twins after their release came back and drew all over the PD with crayons.  Officers seemed powerless under the twins bananza!  It was sheer madness.  More and more Sinners started to roam around the PD and Chief Fyng asked them to clear out.  Shortly after, a fight broke out between the SCPD and Sinners.  PD managed to stabilize the situation by winning the fight and arresting all the Sinners.  How much did the Sinners have to pay afterwards?  Will the troublesome threesome's reign of chaos continue or will the SCPD put the threesome in their place?


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Page 2: Announcements & Events
((IC & OOC))
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BY DECREE OF THE MAYOR

     All citizens shall wear a mustache for the entirety of the month of Movember. Failure to comply will result in citations, arrest, mental evaluation, attitude adjustment therapy, nausea, vomiting, and in rare cases, death. Signed, His royal excellency Mayor Whackadeaux Amadeus Allouicious Frederico Billy Bob Claremont Ferdinand Von Destiny III".



JJ AS COUNCILOR

   In light of the passing of one of our councilors, Eva, JJ will now be sitting on the Council in her place having come in at 6th place at the recent elections. Congratulate him and welcome him to the Council.

Please welcome him to the council.






GRAND OPENING OF UNITY LTD.
     Saturday afternoon at 5 pm SLT, Unity Ltd. will open it's doors to customers for the first time. The new shop soon to be opened is near the docks beside Viper Pit. Please come out and join us for the ribbon cutting ceremony and to have a first look at the new shop. They're not disclosing what type of shop it is but did inform us that it's for both females AND males. There will be free food and drinks for all that stop by to visit.


SYN CITY GAZETTE ONLINE
    Syn City's favorite newspaper, Syn City Gazette is now available online for those who have subscriptions at http://syncitygazette.blogspot.com/.  There's still more work to be done so things are not final yet but we didn't want to hold back any longer seeing as there's some that's been wanting us to be online since we started.  Any questions, concerns, or ideas...contact us.  We want to hear it!


LOST & FOUND
    Sunday an envelope was found outside the Gazette.  If you have lost one, please contact the Gazette or Crissy Forster to describe it's contents and retrieve it.


SYNFUL PLEASURES

Synful Pleasures hosts events every Saturday from 7 - 9 pm SLT and Sundays from 12 - 2 pm SLT. Saturday night was Barely There night and let me tell you...some wore even less then barely there, ass and nipples everywhere! All had a blast as Birthday Boy, DJ Fyng spun the tunes though. The winners were Zeke, Halo, and Tea!

    Sunday, citizens donned their Football and Futbol gear and headed to Syn to party to the tunes of DJ Angel while Fyng kept the party going as he so easily can.  There was talk of warrants being served but thankfully if any were, they waited until after the event.  Aren't the pigs soooooo nice!  Wolf, Fyng, and JJ brought home the top prizes in the contest.


!!!WARNING LIFTED!!!
    Directly from the CDC...It is now safe to use the City's water as well as drink the bottled water being imported in by the Bodega.  The City's water is clean and safe once again!  No more shit lake!

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Page 3: Who's Who
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      This week in Who's Who, we have not one but two individuals. To most, they are known simply as "the twins". To others, they might be referred to as the troublesome duo but in any case where they lead, trouble, chaos, or fun usually follow. Life wasn't always lollipops and rainbows however. They grew up in a home with an abusive father. Having to deal with their Dad, the sisters grew ever closer. Their Father is the reason they rarely traverse the streets alone. Their protective, older sister Snarkie rescued them from the situation when she brought them to Syn City.
Though they be twins, like anyone else in Syn, they do have names and go by Kyoko and Amy. It isn't always easy to tell who is who but Amy has larger breasts then Kyoko and some believe Kyoko's ass is larger. Other then these details and that sometimes one wears makeup different then the other or Kyoko wears old piercings, it's not always easy to know which is which.
The girls use to be members of DA, one of the local gangs but left when an argument between one of them and the leader of DA over the girls attempting to listen in on a conversation being had by Oso. They joined Sinners where they feel they finally have a real family where they do not have to worry about an abusive father. They help other Sinners with their variety of businesses but mostly help out at the car wash where they work making money for rent and the necessities of life. They don't plan to continue to do so as they've already started the process of all three sisters owning their own business. The twins, along with their sister Snarkie are in the planning stages of opening a cupcake business. Work for the releasing of a magazine to promote the establishment has already begun with girls posing for photo shoots with Von, their photographer. The girls claim to not have known Fail's Sweet Nothing's sold more then ice cream and that they have spoken with Fail about the opening of their business. The Cupcake business will sell more then just cupcakes but a variety of treats. Their message to the people was "don't fuck with the Heartfilia family or there will be serious repercussions!.. Oh and come by our cupcake store when it opens!" Despite being sisters, the girls intend to start planning their wedding though the date is unknown at this time but worry not...they'll have a wedding announcement so keep your eyes and ears open for it as well as for their up and coming business and magazine!

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Page 5: Lifestyles
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❖ Dear CosmoGirl


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**Want to ask Cosmo Girl for advice? Simply drop a note in the mailbox outside the Gazette behind Syn City Bank, Cosmo Girl responds to everyone!**  ((NOTE: Crissy rewrites all Dear Cosmo Girl's before handing them over to Cosmo to answer so they can be kept anonymous.))


❖ Rumor Has It
**Have you heard a rumour you want to share?  Send it to us.**


1.  The new Hospital administrator has been seen with a hoe in his office.  Professional business or personal?
2.  A tattoo artist who owns the tattoo shop that was believed to be Shink's recently returned to town.  He'd left the shop in Sinner's care...will Shink easily let the tattoo shop return to it's previous owner?
3.  Dire and Dakoda were engaged to be married and already talking parenthood.  Is pregnancy spreading throughout the city and she's already pregnant?  Although after Sunday night, who knows what will happen because apparently the happy couple have broken up and both are single once again.
4.  Apparently according to Presh, the President of Sinners, she makes porn.  Perhaps you can find a copy of some of her work at Hoes 4 Less or the Sex Shop?
5.  Minx posed for a photo session with one of Syn City's residents.  Nudes were included with the finished photos.  The nude photos exposed the true beauty of Oso's shoot-em-up girl.  What would happen if the wrong person managed to obtain said photos?
Secret Society Ritual

 6.  There is talk of a secret society within Syn.  Unfortunately the picture passed to us is rated PG.  It is rumoured they have crazy orgy's and secret meetings.  The Mayor is believed to be involved.  Hopefully more coming soon.
7.   In a follow up to last weeks rumour about Caren being preggo with the possibility of the dad being 6 other men, I heard from a few good sources that Alistar Crowley from DA is the daddy, Caren has a huge crush on him it seems
8.  Axel claimed he had sex with Dire and that Dire liked topping him and giving him his dick. Dire won't admit it but Axel's told everyone he swears it's true and that Dire won't come out of the closet so they have been having a secret relationship.  He said the same about Shink but Shink shot him screaming that he wasn't gay.  So is it true?  Has Axel been with Dire and Shink both, one, or none?  You decide.
9.  There's a rumour floating around the City that Gussy is related to Usain Bolt.
10.  Dan's gotten a little twin action after a war fought Friday night when Crissy sent them to find him.  Apparently, they did and gave him what Crissy had hoped, a night of twiny-filled pleasure. Guess Dan and Crissy's relationship really is open.
11.  A girl new to town named Danni needs only to be told to strip and she does, no questions asked.  Feel free to tell her to strip and cop a feel like Mofo the Cop did.
12.  According to Shink, he has made out with the entire city, but at this moment no girl has wanted to admit to it and  as we know good girls never tell - lets just call him Stallion.
13.  Supposedly someone that goes by the name of Weyman has recently returned to town looking to start his own film production company and is interested in using Syn City residents for short porno films.  It is unknown if he'll be paying those that are involved or those in the films will be unwillingly participants.
14.  There is talk of some Oso members starting their own gang called the Macarenas.  One of those in the picture seems to be Icarus, the other members are unknown.
15.  Dire is working as a dispatcher at SCPD to pay fines apparently he made a deal with Chief Fyng to work off his fines.
\
16.  Apparently Deputy Police Chief, Halo, was drunk driving and crashed her car into Sinners HQ Sunday evening.  Did the SCPD have knowledge of the incident?  Will she be treated the same as any other citizen or will her night of drunken mistakes be swept under the rug so to say?


**Have you heard a rumour you want to share?  Send it to us.**









❖ Shout Outs



Happy Birthday to Fyng, Syn City's Police Chief who turned only God knows how old on Saturday!  Slap his ass and show him some love by getting him gifts be they real or gag gifts!



    Wanna give a shout out to someone?  Have a message you want delivered in a different way?  Know someone with a birthday coming up and want to wish them a happy one?

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Page 6: Creative Writing Shared
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Have something you've written you want to share? Send it in to the Gazette and share your talents with Synizens.
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Page 7: Letter to the Editor
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    Have something you wanna say?  Here's your chance to be heard!  Send in your letters to the Editor and give yourself a voice to be heard!


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Page 8: Want Ads
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    Looking to hire?  Perhaps you're looking for a mate?  Send in your ads and who knows, you might just find what you've been looking for.  Want Ads cost 10 Brunsens a week.  Price subject to change.

❖ SINGLE FEMALE SUBMISSIVE SEEKS FEMALE DOMINANT.  Submissive is strong-willed but desires serving a dominant natured lady.  She offers her skilled use with weapons as protection along with her more entertaining skills.  She desires someone who will put her in her place and keep her there while giving her the opportunity to see to her Domme's every need.  Interested parties please call 931-874-6543 ((ℳіηҳ ƱŁϓŞŞΞŞ (cheekylilminx))), this submissive begs you.

❖  Currently The Brewery and Hard Target (gun shop) are looking for a few good workers. Contact Fiona Allen (FionaRaeAllen Resident) for more information. Please keep in mind that the ideal candidate will have experience working at a bar for The Brewery positions and gun experience is preferred for the Hard Target positions, but we are willing to make exceptions for the right candidate.

❖  Vipers Garage is now hiring everything from pump girls and cashiers to mechanics!  No experience necessary although for mechanics, experience is preferred.  Stop by and put in an application or speak to Amber Venom (karmarider) today!

❖  New to Syn City and not sure where to go or what to do?  Been looking for a job and just can't seem to find one and having to live on the streets from one empty spot to the next?  If so, Holly Molly Maid's Service might be the place for you.  Holly Molly is now accepting applications.  Come visit Holly Molly down at the docks and put in your application today or contact Amber Venom (karmarider).

❖ The Syn City Gazette has immediate openings.  Candidates should have good writing skills and be an ACTIVE Syn City Resident.  There are a variety of positions available.  Some positions require working under tight deadlines, multi-tasking, working with the public, and covering municipal meetings, breaking news, features and other events as assigned.  Experience with photography, video and social media is preferred, but not required.  Candidates must be available to work a flexible schedule, and some weekends and holidays.  The SCG is a weekly newspaper and is located behind Syn City Bank.  Stop by for an application today!

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Page 9: Advertisements
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    Advertise your business for 20 Brunsen's a week.  Price subject to change.  Get your name out there and make everyone aware what it is you have to offer.

❖  Been feeling dirty lately?  Have issues with walking around wet?  Well come on over to Sinner's Garage where they're now offering a fun car wash service!  You don't have to ride around in that dirty ride or worry about walking around wet after washing it yourself...not anymore!  Drop by and let us wax you up!

❖  The Brewery is a quaint little microbrewery and bar, hidden down in the heart of the city. We pride ourselves on having the largest selection of beers, wines and spirits, as well as our own micro-brews and liquors. Come join us for a chat by the fire, a game of darts, a cigar among friends or just a quiet drink in Syn City's little secret hideaway. We look forward to serving you, your friends Whacked Destiny and Fiona Rae Allen.
The Brewery. Where you're always at home.

The Brewery is located underneath the Hard Target gun shop, just walk on into Hard Target, located near the church, and head down the stairs into Syn City's best kept secret.

❖  Need guns? Ammo? Sling-shot? Weapon repair or cleaning? Well then you are in luck! Hard Target has everything you need to survive in this crazy city where you can get shot at the drop of a hat. Come on down to Syn City's only legal supplier of weapons and ammo. We are located right next to the church.

❖  Sweet nothings

A place to chill out and cool down.
Feeling angry, stressed or upset?
Something sweet might help level u'r blood sugar.
Try a calorie-free invisible ice cream.

Keeps u'r shapes in shape!

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Got ideas or suggestions? Let us know. If you have something you'd like to include in the next issue, drop a note in the mailbox outside Syn City Gazette's Office located just behind Syn City Bank.
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DISCLAIMER: LET IT BE KNOWN, THAT NO MATTER WHAT IS WRITTEN IN THIS PUBLICATION, UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE, IT IS STRICTLY IN CHARACTER!!! I SHOULD INFORM YOU, I CONSIDER EVENTS FOR THE MOST PART IC...FOR THE MOST PART LOL.  ABSOLUTELY NO OOC INSULTS WILL EVER BE USED...EVER!!! SO IF YOU FEEL SOMETHING IS DIRECTED TOWARD YOU OOCLY, AND YOU TAKE OFFENSE, UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE MISTAKEN!!! RUMORS ARE FOR FUN ONLY, WITH NO MALICE IN MIND AND THEY ARE USUALLY NOT EVEN TRUE!!!   HAVE A PROBLEM WITH WHAT IS OR HAS BEEN WRITTEN HERE?  DON'T READ IT.
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This publication protected by Copyright laws ⓒ 2013

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Syn City Gazette: Issue 11

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Syn City Gazette
Issue 11
November 11, 2013
Editor-in-Chief - Crissy Forster
Price: 10 Brunsens - 1 issue, 30 Brunsens - Monthly Subscription
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Table of Contents

❖Page 1 - In the News:  Keep up-to-date on current events and what's happening in Syn City.
❖Page 2 - Announcements
❖Page 3 - Who's Who - Here, you will get to know your friends and neighbors, perhaps in a way that surprises you!
❖Page 4 - Lifestyles: Dear Abby, Rumour Has It, Shout Outs
❖Page 5 - Creative Writing Shared
❖Page 6 - Letter to the Editor
❖Page 7 - Want Ads
❖Page 8 - Advertisements

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Page 1: In the News
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A MESSAGE FROM THE MAYOR
    With the results of the election fresh in everyone's mind, the Gazette wanted to be the first to meet with the Mayor and obtain a quick interview.  The meeting was brief but quite informative as well as hopeful.  Already, the Mayor, Deputy Mayor and Council Members have taken action by having their first council meeting.  On the agenda was an official meet & greet, a discussion on standard meeting procedures, the Council Forums, the new jobs program passed by the last council, and the Deputy Mayor's economic proposal.  Council meetings are public and anyone can attend though are asked to be respectful and follow procedures.
    Not everyone voted for Whacked or Dolly to win but this reporter believes that soon they will see that Syn City will be a much nicer place with them involved.  The best way to keep up-to-date on the new Mayor's activities is through his blog which can be found at http://www.whackeddestiny.blogspot.com.  A short version of his message to the city was...

                    "there is an opportunity right now for the new council to really
                    do great things and provide work and lots of action. I'd like to
                    reach out to all citizens and ask for just a little patience while
                    we get going, but encourage all citizens to bring us their ideas
                    on how to make the city a better place. And by the way, shooting
                    each other is never going to be a problem for me, I rather enjoy
                    the exercise, don't you? It's a shame I had to quit the PD and will
                    have to find a replacement at NUTHOUSE, Inc, but my service to
                    the city must take priority, it's my purpose in life to provide the
                    shining beacon of hope that all may use to find their way."
                   
    When asked if he believed those that were elected in the past elections are the best suited for the positions, he responded...

                    "I will say this, there are some councilors who are serious, and
                    some who have not earned that reputation yet, but I know how
                    to run meetings and I know that group decisions are best made
                    with good conversation among people who don't always agree.
                    So I have high hopes for the council and I have asked them all,
                    now that they've gotten themselves into this, to take it seriously.
                    Our relationships outside the council chambers must remain
                    outside, because honestly if destruction and drama are the only
                    constants we will always have what we have now. I remember
                    better times, and when it was better it was because we had leaders
                    leading with a serious, active and engaged attitude. I believe that
                    is the right way to go, and that is what I want this council to work
                    toward."
               
    For those who may have doubts about the new Mayor, they should be appeased with the above messages, for it seems that the once believed to be "jokester" does indeed take his new position seriously.  His door is always open and he takes "the overwhelming endorsement of the people as final confirmation of my elevation to be the supreme leader of the miserable bastards who make Syn City their home. My bright beacon of hope, my very life shall serve as a brilliant template by which other leaders are measured, and by which the youngsters may model their lives."  How can such hope from a Mayor not lead to hope within the citizens of the City in which he now leads?




!!!BATMAN REVEALED!!!
    We've all seen him running about here and there causing one mischief after another and wondered who was the man behind the mask.  Well now you know...the one known as Batman is actually none other then.....drum roll please.....the new Mayor...Whacked.  He was captured after recently trying to force Cosmo to drink an unidentified liquid that had been sent to her by a "concerned" citizen...one that was concerned for her baby's welfare, the baby which according to her, she's not pregnant with afterall.   After he was taken down, his masked was removed and the truth man behind the mask revealed.





WHACKED RESIGNS FROM SCPD

    Tuesday after hearing the results of the election and after what I'm sure was an appropriate amount of celebrating with his staff, Whacked announced his resignation as police chief with the letter below...

                        "Dear Chief,

                        I, Officer Doctor Whackadeaux Amadeus Allouicious Frederico Billy Bob      
                        Claremont Ferdinand Von Destiny III, must officially resign my commission    
                        as Chief Psychologist for SCPD as well as my position as Patrol Officer. WhiIe
                        love the SCPD I must think first of the good of the department, and since    
                        today I was discovered to be working as a mercenary, moonlighting for      
                        campaign cash, I must resign effective immediately.

                        I am profoundly sorry both for the dark stain this will leave on the              
                        department as well as the deep void my absence will leave within the        
                        ranks. I hope that in time the Police force can recover from the loss of me.  
                        I know it will be tough, but as Mayor I will try to help as best I can.

                        Thank you for believing,

                        Doctor Dubya"

    Thank you for for your time serving on the SCPD Whacked.  The City looks forward to seeing the great heights you will take us to in the future.




UNOFFICIAL POLL
                                           
    Apparently there was an unofficial poll of the ladies and men in Syn compiled.  It is unknown how many participated.  For all the Gazette knows, it could be one person's opinion.  However, it might make you think while also making you curious.  It is also unknown who left us the list buttttt it is a list of what they refer to as "The Banger List and the Leave em List".  What you see, is what we know so you're left to figure out what it all means yourself.  In no way does the Gazette endorse nor agree with this list.  However, it does make one wonder.  Sooooo since the Gazette disagrees with MANY in this list, we're making our own!  We're asking all of our subscribers to pick 3  people for each category.  We want to make sure the poll is actually a poll and not just someone's opinion.

Banger list female                                      Banger list male
1.    Halo                                                      1.    Whacked
2.    Lynsey                                                   2.    Joniel
3.    Smex                                                    3.    Shink
4.    Cecile                                                   4.    Crisis
5.    Sam                                                      5.    Wolf mason
6.    Crissy                                                   6.    Dan ven
7.    Angel ven                                             7.    Black
8.    Dolly                                                     8.    Von
9.    Carensia                                               9.    JJ
10.    Precious                                             10.    Shawn

Leave em list female                                    Leave em list male
1.    Amber                                                    1.    Alister
2.    Fail                                                          2.    Moses
3.    Petal                                                       3.    Nick Falcone
4.    Cosmo                                                   4.    Icarus
5.    Diamond                                                 5.    Fredo
6.    Estaryia                                                  6.    Accolon
7.    Fiona                                                       7.    Weeman
8.    Athena                                                    8.    Damen
9.    Kylie                                                       9.    Zeke
10.    Snarkie                                               10.    Agent




FIRST COUNCIL MEETING

    Thursday, the newly elected Mayor, Deputy Mayor and Council met for the first time with all but one in attendance.  After introducing themselves they immediately went to work on the hot topic on the agenda, the economy. The new council reviewed the previous council's jobs bill that never was implemented and discussed ways of doing so. Then the discussion turned towards new ideas such as a receipts system that could be used as a economic indicator on how much business is actually being done.  It was decided that Whacked or Dolly would attend each and every council meeting and that the meetings will take place at various times in order for all to participate.  The official discussion boards can be found at http://syncitycouncil.boards.net/index.cgi where all proposals and minutes of meetings will be posted though voting will only take place at council meetings.  During the meeting, the Council discussed the new Job Program passed into law by the last Council and Dolly's economic proposal.  It was decided the economic proposal will wait until Dolly has finished making modifications to the new Job Program which at the moment appears to be a phased approach with a setup of salaries for certain positions within the City.  The Council plans to meet every other Thursday but the next meeting will be held on the 14th due to the coming Holiday.

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Page 2: Announcements & Events
((IC & OOC))
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2013 ELECTION RESULTS

    Tuesday, the 2013 Election Results were released to the public.  The Gazette would like to send a personal thank you to all the Synizens that participated and voted to have their say.  Congratulations to those that won and thank you to all who ran.  The votes were counted then counted again.  The results of the election are listed below.

     ► Mayor: Whacked Destiny
     ► Deputy Mayor: Dolly Swizzle
     ► Council:
            Eva Smith
            Dina Ormidale
            Amber Venom
            Shink Daddy
            Cosmo Monroe

    Thank you as well to our outgoing Mayor and Council for all they've done.  May the next year be a fruitful one for our wonderful Syn City with the leadership that's been elected.  I know there's already been talk between the Mayor and Deputy Mayor who plan to work together along with the Council to make our City even better then it already is.


SYN CITY HOSPITAL GETS NEW ADMINISTRATOR
    Saturday a press release from the Mayor's office announced a new Administrator for Syn City Hospital.  The outgoing Administrator, Puddin, made the appointment which was confirmed by the Mayor.  Mayor Destiny visited the new Administrator, Edward Thorne, in his home to deliver the good news personally.  Having personally spoken with the new Administrator, it's already clear he's got big ideas on how to improve health care for Synizens.  For more information, see Mr. Thorne in his new office at the Hospital.


SYN CITY GAZETTE ONLINE

    Syn City's favorite newspaper, Syn City Gazette is now available online for those who have subscriptions at http://syncitygazette.blogspot.com/.  There's still more work to be done so things are not final yet but we didn't want to hold back any longer seeing as there's some that's been wanting us to be online since we started.  Any questions, concerns, or ideas...contact us.  We want to hear it!

LOST & FOUND
    Sunday an envelope was found outside the Gazette.  If you have lost one, please contact the Gazette or Crissy Forster to describe it's contents and retrieve it.

SYNFUL PLEASURES
    Synful Pleasures hosts events every Saturday from 7 - 9 pm SLT and Sundays from 12 - 2 pm SLT.  Saturday night everyone came out dressed in feathers and fur.  There were simple outfits from dresses to more complicated outfits that had them covered head to toe in fur.  All who came out though definitely enjoyed themselves and thankfully no one was tared and feathered in order to keep with the theme.....I don't think. Minx, Kyoko, and Acc brought home the prices for best costumes.
    Sunday everyone was able to just roll out of bed and slip on over for the Pajama Party!  From lingerie to robes and curlers, one thing's for sure, everyone looked amazing!  Surprisingly enough with all the beds and sleeping bags around, no one fucked...surprisingly enough buttttt fun was had and that's what matters!


!!!WARNING LIFTED!!!
    Directly from the CDC...It is now safe to use the City's water as well as drink the bottled water being imported in by the Bodega.  The City's water is clean and safe once again!  No more shit lake!

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Page 3: Who's Who
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   In this week's Who's Who, is the Viper Princess herself....Maya Venom.  Maya is the Sergent at Arms of the Vipers as well as the CEO of Hoes 4 Less, a well established business in Syn.  Not only that but she also holds the title of Princess in the Viper Royal family.
    Maya doesn't like to reveal too much when it comes to her family and secrets unknown to most at the risk of damaging the future peace and prosperity of the Kingdom of Syn out of fear that enemies will try to twist what is said and make it part of an ongoing conspiracy.  She did however speak of the ancient Viper stone tablets that have been passed down by her ancestors by a Seer who predicted things that would happen in the future.  Apparently an old Mystic of the family said that there would be a time that evil forces would form Confederacies that would challenge the righteous period of peace that the Viper Dynasty would usher in.  The Mystic spoke of three Confederacies that would arise through time.  The first two would have leaders and the third would appear leaderless.  The "Confederacies of Falsehood" would claim a higher standard of morals and would begin a conspiracy to make the Vipers look like they were the masters of evil.  The Confederates would claim that the Vipers would use tactics that were immoral and wrong but eventually, the same actions they accused the Vipers of, they would assume themselves.  The Confederates would enjoy a time of success and prosperity for a time, falsehood would spread far and wide in the Kingdom of Syn.  She doesn't know if that time is now or not but what the Mystic said si that after the difficulty and oppression by the Confederates, the people of Syn would clamor for change and the Royal family of Vipers would assume the throne of the Kingdom of Syn then another 1,000 years of Pax Viperosa, righteous period of peace brought by the Viper Dynasty, would endure.
    When asked about her Council past and the possibilities of running for another term in the future, she stated that she wouldn't be rerunning.  She also stated "Council is very bureaucratic and very difficult to see changes.  I'm a Royalist, and I believe that democracy isn't all that its cracked out to be, we need a royal family to rule the Kingdom of Syn."
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Page 5: Lifestyles
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❖ Dear CosmoGirl


________________________________________________________________________________



**Want to ask Cosmo Girl for advice? Simply drop a note in the mailbox outside the Gazette behind Syn City Bank, Cosmo Girl responds to everyone!**  ((NOTE: Crissy rewrites all Dear Cosmo Girl's before handing them over to Cosmo to answer so they can be kept anonymous.))


❖ Rumor Has It
**Have you heard a rumour you want to share?  Send it to us.**

1.  Petal and Cecile declared their love for each other in Oso park when Petal submitted to Cecile.  Apparently the lack of men have brought them together and allowed them to find love in each other.
2.  Von, Snarkie, and Athy are enjoying a polyamorous relationship.  Yep that's right folks...a threesome...everynight...one guy..two girls...so far it's workin for them.  I wonder what her husband, Nick thinks about it.
3.  Two Rumours in one....apparently one member of DA deals Meth and Shink, one of our City's new Council members, is a buyer of meth.
4.  It's official....Cosmo is NOT pregnant despite the rumours.
5.  Apparently there's new love blooming within the Vipers organization between two of the younger members, Gussy and Fredo.  Fredo's been staying at Gussy's SEVERAL days now, ever since Dan's move to the other side of town.  Word is though, that Fredo and Kyra from DA are "fuck buddies".  Is Fredo with Gussy and fucking Kyra on the side?
6.  Rumor has it that Carly ... former PD Chief at Syn was caught hanging around Vipers...alive.  Has the former Viper-hater decided Vipers aren't so bad after all?
7.  Drug dealers are in the spirit of the season, they are using autumn decorations such as pumpkins to hide cocaine.
8.  Kyoko and Amy are apparently engaged but have been keeping it on the hush hush! Could the new stranger in town by the name of Axel be the cause? Rumor is he is an ex of one of the twins and has come back to town to make his claim! He's supposedly threatened to rape them and a kos was immediately placed on his head! But it seems that Axel has forgotten all about the twins in favor of Dire and Shink!
9.  Fyng has been on a rampage arresting women left and right on trumped up charges, or no charges at all. Could sexual frustrations be the cause of his aggressiveness?
10.  Friday afternoon a large group of Sinner and OSO women bared their boobs in protest of the law against women going topless. The protest was led by Snarkie and Fail, pretty soon the group was joined by men who also bared the manboobs.  Eva head of OSO was rumored to have joined the festivities as well.
11.  Carensia is pregnant and the father could be one of 5 guys.

**Have you heard a rumour you want to share?  Send it to us.**









❖ Shout Outs


Everyone be sure to wish Dire a merry, happy, wonderful birthday!  Today is his day.  He's one year older and one year wiser...so they say.  Give him a smack on the ass and wish him a good day!



    Wanna give a shout out to someone?  Have a message you want delivered in a different way?  Know someone with a birthday coming up and want to wish them a happy one?

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Page 6: Creative Writing Shared
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Cut
Written by: Crissy Forster


I hurt, I ache.
I think of all, I cannot take.

I cut myself. I feel the pain.
I feel the blood pour out my veins.

I have to feel it, feel the pain.
It tells me it's real, I'm still living in hell.

Hell...it is my life. I don't cut myself, To end my pain.
But, to feel the pain of my life.

I begin to cut, but I can't stop.
Next thing I know, the beating stops.


Have something you've written you want to share? Send it in to the Gazette and share your talents with Synizens.
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Page 7: Letter to the Editor
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    Have something you wanna say?  Here's your chance to be heard!  Send in your letters to the Editor and give yourself a voice to be heard!


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Page 8: Want Ads
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    Looking to hire?  Perhaps you're looking for a mate?  Send in your ads and who knows, you might just find what you've been looking for.  Want Ads cost 10 Brunsens a week.  Price subject to change.

❖  Currently The Brewery and Hard Target (gun shop) are looking for a few good workers. Contact Fiona Allen (FionaRaeAllen Resident) for more information. Please keep in mind that the ideal candidate will have experience working at a bar for The Brewery positions and gun experience is preferred for the Hard Target positions, but we are willing to make exceptions for the right candidate.

❖  Vipers Garage is now hiring everything from pump girls and cashiers to mechanics!  No experience necessary although for mechanics, experience is preferred.  Stop by and put in an application or speak to Amber Venom (karmarider) today!

❖  New to Syn City and not sure where to go or what to do?  Been looking for a job and just can't seem to find one and having to live on the streets from one empty spot to the next?  If so, Holly Molly Maid's Service might be the place for you.  Holly Molly is now accepting applications.  Come visit Holly Molly down at the docks and put in your application today or contact Amber Venom (karmarider).

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Page 9: Advertisements
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    Advertise your business for 20 Brunsen's a week.  Price subject to change.  Get your name out there and make everyone aware what it is you have to offer.

❖  Looking for something warm and moist to eat?  Have you been craving meat?  Come on out to Moretti's where they're always serving up the hot stuff.  Wednesday's all Medium pizzas are just 10 B and on Fridays, it's buy one get one FREE.

❖  Been feeling dirty lately?  Have issues with walking around wet?  Well come on over to Sinner's Garage where they're now offering a fun car wash service!  You don't have to ride around in that dirty ride or worry about walking around wet after washing it yourself...not anymore!  Drop by and let us wax you up!

❖  The Brewery is a quaint little microbrewery and bar, hidden down in the heart of the city. We pride ourselves on having the largest selection of beers, wines and spirits, as well as our own micro-brews and liquors. Come join us for a chat by the fire, a game of darts, a cigar among friends or just a quiet drink in Syn City's little secret hideaway. We look forward to serving you, your friends Whacked Destiny and Fiona Rae Allen.
The Brewery. Where you're always at home.

The Brewery is located underneath the Hard Target gun shop, just walk on into Hard Target, located near the church, and head down the stairs into Syn City's best kept secret.

❖  Need guns? Ammo? Sling-shot? Weapon repair or cleaning? Well then you are in luck! Hard Target has everything you need to survive in this crazy city where you can get shot at the drop of a hat. Come on down to Syn City's only legal supplier of weapons and ammo. We are located right next to the church.


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Got ideas or suggestions? Let us know. If you have something you'd like to include in the next issue, drop a note in the mailbox outside Syn City Gazette's Office located just behind Syn City Bank.
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DISCLAIMER: LET IT BE KNOWN, THAT NO MATTER WHAT IS WRITTEN IN THIS PUBLICATION, UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE, IT IS STRICTLY IN CHARACTER!!! I SHOULD INFORM YOU, I CONSIDER EVENTS FOR THE MOST PART IC...FOR THE MOST PART LOL.  ABSOLUTELY NO OOC INSULTS WILL EVER BE USED...EVER!!! SO IF YOU FEEL SOMETHING IS DIRECTED TOWARD YOU OOCLY, AND YOU TAKE OFFENSE, UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE MISTAKEN!!! RUMORS ARE FOR FUN ONLY, WITH NO MALICE IN MIND AND THEY ARE USUALLY NOT EVEN TRUE!!!   HAVE A PROBLEM WITH WHAT IS OR HAS BEEN WRITTEN HERE?  DON'T READ IT.
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This publication protected by Copyright laws ⓒ 2013

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Syn City Gazette: Issue 10

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Syn City Gazette
Issue 10
November 4, 2013
Editor-in-Chief - Crissy Forster
Price: 10 Brunsens - 1 issue, 30 Brunsens - Monthly Subscription
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Table of Contents

❖Page 1 - In the News:  Keep up-to-date on current events and what's happening in Syn City.
❖Page 2 - Announcements
❖Page 3 - Who's Who - Here, you will get to know your friends and neighbors, perhaps in a way that surprises you!
❖Page 4 - Lifestyles: Dear Abby, Rumour Has It, Shout Outs
❖Page 5 - Creative Writing Shared
❖Page 6 - Letter to the Editor
❖Page 7 - Want Ads
❖Page 8 - Advertisements

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Page 1: In the News
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2013 ELECTION

    Election Day on the way!  Voting will opened on Saturday November 2nd and will close at midnight Monday, November 4th.  Voting is free and open to Syn City Citizens only.

Mayor candidates:

Fyng
Halo
Whacked
Dolly
Failure

Board members :

Dante - Oso
Eva - Oso
Dina - N/A
Gussy - Vipers
Islandsmoker - Oso
Stormninja -
Amber - Vipers
JJ - DA
Cosmo - Vipers
Dan - Vipers
Alister - DA
Shink - Sinners



You must be a Syn City Resident
The votes WILL be audited.

Each person gets 1 vote for Mayor and 2 votes for council

The runner up in the Mayoral election will be Deputy Mayor
For council there will be 5 members elected.

Please vote wisely

TO VOTE

You MUST create a NEW notecard and write your votes on it and drop it in to the box marked SYN CITY ELECTIONS

Have a say...VOTE.

May the best candidates win!







SYN CITY OPINION POLL 2013!
Written by: Whacked


POLL RESULTS!      A clear leader emerged in both the Council and Mayoral races, with Eva and Whacked both getting clear margins. Dolly received a very strong showing in the polls, as did Failure.  The remainder of the votes were distributed across the other candidates too closely to provide useful information. Most of the Mayoral Candidates put in appearances at the poll yesterday and were greeted by a crowd that at one point reached 25 people.  The candidates met the people and spoke about the issues and about ideas for making the city a better place.  Interestingly during the time I spent at the polls there was no violence or bickering, just an honest conversation about different ideas on how to improve the city for everyone.

    A survey was also performed on citizen's feelings about several issues. The issues were laid out and citizens were given a simple method of rating the importance of each issue. The ratings were gathered and each issue emerged with an overall rating between one and five. It was interesting to watch the changes in the ratings as people voted and one valuable piece of information that came from the exercise is that people want different things.  Not surprising, but the wide spread in which issues people rated highly caused the final result to be centered when the truth is much deeper. People really care passionately about the issues, but the averaging of results by the polling system hides the intensity of these feelings. I was very happy to have been present to watch that and understand why it happened.

Syn City Opinion Poll Results!

Votes Cast: 52 (estimate, some people did not vote on all issues)

RATE THE ISSUES SURVEY RESULTS
   ► Control Gang Violence               ♥♥♥
     ► Add City Services                      ♥♥♥
     ► More Citywide Events                 ♥♥♥
     ► Encourage More Businesses      ♥♥♥
     ► Encourage Inter-gang Business  ♥♥♥♥
     ► Encourage the use of Brunsens  ♥♥♥
     ► More PD Enforcement                 ♥♥♥





Mayor's Race Results
     ► Whacked Destiny                      27
     ► Dolly Swizzle                            13
     ► Failure Fatality                             8
     ► Halo                                           4
     ► Fying                                          3


Council Race Results
     ► Eva Smith                                  19
     ► Dina Ormidale                             6
     ► Alister Crowley                            5
     ► Cosmo                                        8
     ► Amber                                        4
     ► Dante
     ► Dan Venom                                 6
     ► Gussy                                         4
     ► Smokey                                      3
     ► JJ                                                 3
    
 ►► Shink and Stomninja Resident entered the race after the survey was built and they were not included in the survey.

This unofficial poll was fun and interesting to watch but has NO bearing on the actual election. Please come out and VOTE THIS WEEKEND! Voting begins on Saturday and ends on Monday night.  So come out and make your opinion known!

The margin of error of this informal poll is near 100% so be careful not to depend on these results. 

DANGEROUS CANDY BOWLS

    It is literally dangerous to set out candy bowls even if it IS Halloween.  It leads to more issues then just fighting over who gets the most or who gets the last Snickers.  Thursday, just such a bowl in front of Sinners lead to chocolate craving psychotic personalities and candy induced emergencies sending one Synizen to the Emergency room in a diabetic coma.





PAINTING THE TOWN



    When most refer to "Painting the Town", they're talking about hitting the town having fun but Saturday, three naked girls...two Sinners and one Oso decided to give it a more literal meaning when they decided to paint the SCPD and a police vehicle.  The quiet City woke when gunshots were heard as the SCPD set off in chase after the suspects who were naked, splattered in paint and riding getaway trikes.  Shortly after apprehending them, they were drug off to the station facing charges of destruction to property, attempted assault, triking while nude, twerking, not using hand signals while triking, and drive-by triking.  Officer Gerrard took them to the Hospital for evaluation.  At present, the SCPD aren't pressing charges, pending a mental evaluation on the three of them.  The girls managed to escape when they were taken to the Hospital for injuries but caught shortly after and once again hauled off to jail.

CHAOS ENSUES AT SCPD
     Saturday night, shortly after the arrest of the Painted Sisters, even more chaos ensued when a police cruiser driven by Kyra of DA rammed into Moses Venom's new truck.  In the process of getting the two vehicles apart, somehow the truck managed to reverse and back ONTO the police cruiser with Kyra trapped inside.  Nearby police officer Will used a chain saw to cut her free.  The extent of her injuries at this date is unknown but believed to be serious as threats of lawsuits were shouted towards Moses as well as the SCPD.  While Officer Fyng was dealing with the crash, a strange man with swords sheathed at his side, hopped into Moses' new car, not truck, and crashed it into the side of the SCPD causing minor damages to the building but significant damages to the car.  Moses faces charges of two destruction to property charges, assault, attempted murder, driving without a license, and attempting to harm an officer of the law.  Moses and Cosmo were both arrested and hauled to jail to "work on thier relationship" according to Officer Fyng.

TOUR BUS ROLLOVER

    Wolf did another one of his infamous bus tours across Syn today. He lost his driver side mirror when scraping the driver side of the bus against the church during a turn. Then when he got to the bridge the entire bus turned over trapping occupants inside. It took almost an hour to find their way out of the clearly marked exits of the bus as there was plenty of gropes and talk between outnumbered males inside of starting a harem. Eventually they found their way out and SCPD arrived moments later along with an ambulance. The injuries were minor and everyone was sent home.


DA AFTERPARTY


    After today's Synful Pleasure event, Isabella thought it was a good idea to have her and her members dress up in fox costumes and dance to the newest internet fab, what did the fox say on repeat. The afterparty was a success as the crowd continued to grow and grow drawing the likes of Moses who mentioned the Vipers can come out for fun too before dressing up and dancing as a fox himself.

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Page 2: Announcements & Events
((IC & OOC))
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LOST & FOUND
    Sunday an envelope was found outside the Gazette.  If you have lost one, please contact the Gazette or Crissy Forster to describe it's contents and retrieve it.

SYNFUL PLEASURES

    Synful Pleasures hosts events every Saturday from 7 - 9 pm SLT and Sundays from 12 - 2 pm SLT.  Skulls skulls and more skulls...they were everywhere Saturday night at Synful Pleasures' Day of the Dead Event.  DJ Stormborn was spinning the tunes as everyone danced and enjoyed themselves.  Congratulations to our winners Steffie Manen, Angel Venom, and Dakoda Baxton.  Sunday was the starting of Daylight Savings time and to celebrate, Synful Pleasures had their TIME FOR TIME event.  DJ Stormborn took us all back in time blastin tunes from the past from the Macarena to Vanilla Ice, Synizens had fun remembering songs from the past!  Contest winners were Craig, Amelia, and Athena.  Congrats you all!


!!!WARNING!!!
    Directly from the CDC...do NOT use any water for drinking or for bathing, it has been contaminated and is considered dangerous including bottled water.  Doing so can lead to irritated dry skin, foggy brain, memory loss, and irrational thinking as well as the Axe Effect in some citizens.  Instead, make use of the Vodka provided to the citizens of Syn City by the CDC.

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Page 3: Who's Who
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    This week in Who's Who, we have Minx Ulysses, the hott bi submissive Asian Capo from Oso's.  Minx is the adopted daughter of Samuel and Rayne Ulysses.  When one is able to sit down and speak to her without her pink bullets flying at you, it's quite easy to like her.  She's a fun-loving girl who "hardly ever gets worked up unless someone ruins my honor" and hates disloyal people.  Speaking with her is quite the delight and she's completely not what I expected with her fun loving attitude and hint at a bratty side.
    She was the daughter of an ex Yakuza Dragon who's now Chairman.  Much of her younger memories fail her due to the harsh realities of life and it's circumstances.  She came to Syn a broken girl working the streets as a hoe under Shink for a bit, left and then returned and found a home in the Oso Corporation when they took her in giving her a family once again.  She's worked her way up from prostitute to Mafia Capo.  Now she does everything and anything needed by the Oso Corporation from dancing at events to acquiring and training new recruits.
    Despite the fact that Minx is a bi submissive leaning more towards the females, she's quite picky in who she "deals" with wanting to get to know them first.  She is currently available though not searching for anything in particular but rather enjoying the single life and casual "no-strings" sex, with those that have passed her pickiness of course.  She seems the type that enjoys challenges, one of which spoken of was turning straight girls not so straight "I've made many straight girls moan with pleasure so to me straight just means your hiding the inner bi self inside you."  She's young and has no plans to have any little ones running around anytime soon.  When asked about her plans for the future, she stated "like a famous man once said the only thing that's sure about my future is nothing's for sure.  I'll just continue what destiny throws at me cause no one's fate is ever determined."  Wise words from one so young.
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Page 5: Lifestyles
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❖ Dear CosmoGirl

Dear Abby,

I have been working at a reputable modeling agency for almost a year now. Recently there was a shake up and new management was brought in. They absolutely don't know what they are doing because they have  absolutely no experience. They won't listen to those who do and are using unconventional methods to control us loyal employees. When we stand up, we are humiliated until we give in. It is not fair we are being used to boost their social status while the big bosses believe they are some sort of saviors. Being under a contract we can't just leave. Sweet Abby, How can I get new management to listen and learn from someone who is a lot more experienced then they are?

- Molly Trizzles

Dear Molly Trizzles

Its always hard to make any changes in a company and esp harder taking orders from people you don't know that well. You can always pull them off to the side alone ,when they are around no one and express how you feel. You may find out they know more than you think they do and they may respect you for pulling them to the side as one person other than trying to call them out in front of everyone and may be more willing to listen to what you have to say . Stay positive and if that doesn't work out just do what you have to do to get done there and it may be time to move on if it bothers you that bad. As time goes by they may get more experience and see the things they thought were working, aren't. SO either just stick around and see what happens or just try to talk to them 1 on 1 and see what good that will do. I hope this has helped you and good luck in your future

xoxoxox
COSMOgirl
________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Cosmogirl,
So many guys around here are such idiots..and massive liars...how do you tell the difference?


Dear girl who is frustrated,

It can be veryyy hard to tell the difference in idiots and liars and the good guys. I think that it is a situation where you have to truly be friends first. If you can't be best friends it's very unlikely you can be lovers. You need a solid foundation so that they will respect you and respect who you are as a person. Syn can be a hard place to find love, it's not going to be easy, but no one said it isn't worth it . Just try to find you a set of good friends and go from there. Dont rush anything that's where you find the sleezeballs and liars . Don't make yourself too available and don't focus on FINDING the perfect guy. Focus on finding a good friend and things will fall into place if it's meant to be. Hope this helps and good luck

XOXOXO
COSMOgirl


**Want to ask Cosmo Girl for advice? Simply drop a note in the mailbox outside the Gazette behind Syn City Bank, Cosmo Girl responds to everyone!**  ((NOTE: Crissy rewrites all Dear Cosmo Girl's before handing them over to Cosmo to answer so they can be kept anonymous.))


❖ Rumor Has It
**Have you heard a rumour you want to share?  Send it to us.**

1. Cosmo and Moses will soon bring a lil one to the streets of Syn as Cosmo is pregnant with Mo's child!  Be sure to tell them congratulations!
2.  Mass Parkin is suspected to be narcoleptic.  He's been caught falling asleep on the bridge and by the bank this week.  He must have fallen asleep on his way to pick up his welfare.
3.  Been having trouble defeating that annoying level in Candy Crush?  Apparently, Oso is to blame!  They've hacked into the systems and are to blame for all those difficult, annoying levels that are so hard to pass.
4.  Shink has the hots for Sam, Black's Queen.  He has been seen trying to win her over singing songs to her and giving her pussy.  Song's and gifts!?!  Question is...what does Black have to say about it?
 5.  The SCPD has been taking a more active role this week arresting citizens for anything from warrants served due to shooting others to carding Synizens for their G&D licenses.  Are they doing good or are they making up the reasons for arrests?  On more then one occasion, we hear, there is no reason for the arrest...either it wasn't given or the reason given was false such as bribing an officer of the law when one asks how much another's fines are going to be.
6.  It's been reported that Officer Fyng has been seen buying drugs from a DA member and allowing Synizens to drive a police issued vehicle for unofficial business.  I wonder what the new Mayor will have to say about the waste of tax payer's money?
8.  Clap is spreading throughout the City once more.  Three suspects who were taken into custody late in the week are believed to have contracted the STD.  Where and how is still unknown.
9.  Sere is a coward that runs to hide from the Queen not once but twice because she is too scared to fight her alone.
10.  Mayoral candidate Dolly got a boob job this week.  Was it an investment by the Vipers with the Election already here and foreseeing her loss or was it an attempt at buying more votes by a Campaign donor?

**Have you heard a rumour you want to share?  Send it to us.**


❖ Shout Outs

    !!!Be sure to congratulate Craig & Dina Ormidale on their 3rd Anniversary on November 8th.  Three years and going stronger then ever!!!


    Wanna give a shout out to someone?  Have a message you want delivered in a different way?  Know someone with a birthday coming up and want to wish them a happy one?

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Page 6: Creative Writing Shared
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LIFE IS A PUZZLE
Written by: Dan Venom

Life is a puzzle,

Life is a puzzle there is  things we must solve on are own, pieces lost and needed to be place in right places. when i say it is like A puzzle i mean that from burdens to troubles. one thing you try to solve while anther you trying to complete but you then realize you are still missing a piece. puzzle pieces are People's places or things.  that you want to keep together but is apart everyone starts the puzzle from start. lesson to live by live life don't rush or you will have the wrong pieces stuck.


Life is a puzzle.  There are things we must solve on our own, pieces lost and needed to be place in right places.

When I say it is like A puzzle, I mean that from burdens to troubles.  One thing you try to solve while another you're trying to complete but you then realize you are still missing a piece.

Puzzle pieces are people, places, or things that you want to keep together but is apart.  Everyone starts the puzzle from start.  Lesson to live by...don't rush life or you will have the wrong pieces stuck.


Have something you've written you want to share? Send it in to the Gazette and share your talents with Synizens.
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Page 7: Letter to the Editor
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    Have something you wanna say?  Here's your chance to be heard!  Send in your letters to the Editor and give yourself a voice to be heard!


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Page 8: Want Ads
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    Looking to hire?  Perhaps you're looking for a mate?  Send in your ads and who knows, you might just find what you've been looking for.

❖  Vipers Garage is now hiring everything from pump girls and cashiers to mechanics!  No experience necessary although for mechanics, experience is preferred.  Stop by and put in an application or speak to Amber Venom (karmarider) today!

❖  New to Syn City and not sure where to go or what to do?  Been looking for a job and just can't seem to find one and having to live on the streets from one empty spot to the next?  If so, Holly Molly Maid's Service might be the place for you.  Holly Molly is now accepting applications.  Come visit Holly Molly down at the docks and put in your application today or contact Amber Venom (karmarider).

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Page 9: Advertisements
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    Advertise your business.  Get your name out there and make everyone aware what it is you have to offer.

❖  In love and wanting to be joined in holy matrimony?  Contact Icarurs Blackgraves.  He specializes in speed weddings...anytime, anywhere . When you just absolutely need to get married he's the one to do it for you.  Certified online.  Dial 1-800-MARRYME.  He also does also for exorcisms, deliveries, hit jobs, private eye investigating, grave digging, and  Psychiatric services.

❖  Looking for something warm and moist to eat?  Have you been craving meat?  Come on out to Moretti's where they're always serving up the hot stuff.  Wednesday's all Medium pizzas are just 10 B and on Fridays, it's buy one get one FREE.

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Got ideas or suggestions? Let us know. If you have something you'd like to include in the next issue, drop a note in the mailbox outside Syn City Gazette's Office located just behind Syn City Bank.
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DISCLAIMER: LET IT BE KNOWN, THAT NO MATTER WHAT IS WRITTEN IN THIS PUBLICATION, UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE, IT IS STRICTLY IN CHARACTER!!! I SHOULD INFORM YOU, I CONSIDER EVENTS FOR THE MOST PART IC...FOR THE MOST PART LOL.  ABSOLUTELY NO OOC INSULTS WILL EVER BE USED...EVER!!! SO IF YOU FEEL SOMETHING IS DIRECTED TOWARD YOU OOCLY, AND YOU TAKE OFFENSE, UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE MISTAKEN!!! RUMORS ARE FOR FUN ONLY, WITH NO MALICE IN MIND AND THEY ARE USUALLY NOT EVEN TRUE!!! 
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