Syn City Gazette: Issue 7

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Syn City Gazette

Issue 7

October 14, 2013

Editor-in-Chief - Crissy Forster

Price: 10 Brunsens - 1 issue, 30 Brunsens - Monthly Subscription
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Table of Contents

❖Page 1 - In the News:  Keep up-to-date on current events and what's happening in Syn City.
❖Page 2 - Announcements
❖Page 3 - Who's Who - Here, you will get to know your friends and neighbors, perhaps in a way that surprises you!
❖Page 4 - Lifestyles: Dear Abby, Rumour Has It, Shout Outs
❖Page 5 - Letter to the Editor
❖Page 6 - Want Ads
❖Page 7 - Advertisements

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Page 1: In the News
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MASKED ASSAILANT

    On Thursday around 2:30 PM, a masked assailant who will be known as Skeleton Thief was spotted downing citizens and robbing them.  It is unknown at this time who the masked assailant is and if he's been seen previously doing the same but be on the lookout for him.  He will shoot you and take what he finds worthy of taking.  If you see this man, contact the SCPD at once.  Do NOT approach him, he is considered armed and dangerous.








         

WITNESS ESCORTED TO SCPD LEADS TO TERRORISTS INFORMATION
-Written by: Miss Lynsey Werefox

                                    
    Two groups are suspected of harboring the terrorists and both are marked for raids this week.  Agent Orange has received warrants to search two buildings in the city and arrest anyone who interferes...
    At noon on Wednesday, SCPD escorted a critical witness from one place to another in town.  Thankfully, all went well, it would be a shame if the entire case against the terrorists unraveled over the death of a witness.

    The gazette was tipped off early in the morning when a mysterious memo was found about something happening in the city later on that day.  This memo was regarding a certain witness related to the lake pollution investigation.  This reporter went into the scene with an enthusiastic attitude and got turned down when asking for information on the traffic cones that were placed blocking the bridge entrance from uptown, and around the hospital.  Officer Lili and Mr. Smith refused to comment at the time.  Confused, this reporter was persistent on digging to find out what the actual cause of all of this commotion from the SCPD was.

    After discovering that there were accusations of certain people involved in the water pollution case, we figured that a scene like this was bound to happen, just not this soon.  During the scene, a certain accused Sinner was spotted driving the vehicle in question.  Could this be a hint as to what’s happening?  Is there a different suspect?  Using a phone to zoom onto the scene from on top of the closed-off bridge, this reporter seen two officers with a subject who was later on identified as a resident named Fail.  Consulting the memo earlier received, it appears that Fail is the secret witness of the ongoing investigation which does in fact involve the toxins in the water supply.

    While carefully following the escort through the city, there was an attack from a masked person in front of the SCPD.  This reporter was definitely scared, but she stood her ground and followed the story.  A few were injured during the hit, but the SCPD fought hard and managed to control the situation.   Thanks to Officer Whacked, the witness arrived at the destination, and the case can now be taken further.  Hopefully with enough pressure on the SCPD, this reporter can get some more information regarding what the witness actually witnessed, and who the prime suspects are in the case.
    Papers went flying during the attack, which happened to fall into the right hands, and believe me folks, I cannot be happier to deliver this information to you citizens of Syn City.   Within these documents found, there were many that were destroyed, wet from landing in a puddle and smeared, but thankfully, some were just fine, and this reporter worked long and hard  to decipher what information was on these pages.  The first page which was able to be read uncovered a report on 1000 metric tons of high explosives in the subway.  Does this mean we’re going to be having some reconstruction of our subway systems, or are they being torn away for something else?
    The second document revealed that the CDC testing concluded that the chemical substances within the water but were a low concentration.  These test results proved that there was indeed a poisonous substance within our water supply that has been flowing through all of the pipes within our city, causing an obnoxious amount of rusting and damage.  Within those results, it was also shown that there was presence of fecal matter, as well as gun powder residue.  Could all of these components being combined cause a major explosion for our city?  This document has proven that it indeed can.   Will this be the destroyer of our city? Will this ticking time-bomb be fixed before shit blows up in our face? Literally.  We are not sure yet.  But we will stay on the case.
    The third legible document revealed a USGS summary of sponsored terrorism activity in an attempt to destabilize the mayor and cause the exodus of residents leading to the sub-market acquisition of said property.

    Last but not least, the final legible page that we were shocked to uncover.   Page 100 of  the deposition which named Failure implicating the DA and Sinners as harboring THEY - a known terrorist organization  The Gazette actually came upon a copy of what we assume is Page 100 and are including a copy of said page.
    Are the SCPD prepared for all of these issues happening?  We can only hope.  If you happen to find anymore pages of the deposition, Syn City Gazette urges you to bring them to our attention for our investigation.

OPERATION CLENSE

     Saturday and emergency announcement went out over all radio and television stations using the emergency broadcast systems with the following message: "Syn City Citizens, the SCPD Joint Task Force, entitled "Operation Cleanse" is an intense operation aimed at flushing a terrorist attack from our city.  These terrorists are traitors to their country, evil doers in our city and have no mothers. It is incumbent upon all citizens of Syn City to assist in the destruction of the terrorists and the location and retrieval of the canisters of weaponized fecal material they have hidden all over the city.  Citizens of Syn City the time is now for you to come to the aid of your neighbors. Get outside and look around, the terrorists have hidden 108 containers of bio-hazard material around the city.  We need those containers brought to the police station.  The top ten hunters will receive a HUGE reward from the Mayor's office for your efforts.  The hunt begins NOW so get out there and GET TO HUNTING!"
    The hunt was on!  Several citizens volunteered to help in finding the weaponized fecal material.  Those who won rewards are listed below.

Kylie Lysette has 33 $L
Franny Yven has 19 $L
Dolly Swizzle has 13 $L
DamagedAngel Resident has 11 $L
Celestus Resident has 9 $L
Muckmath Resident has 6 $L
Direwolf Snowpaw has 6 $L
snarkprincess Resident has 4 $L
BaronAccolonANC Resident has 4 $L
ThePsychonaut Resident has 3 $L

    "Operation Cleanse" went very well and those helping in the hunt had to report to the SCPD afterwards where they were stripped and had to step into a chemical wash.  The SCPD and CDC would like to thank all of those that stepped up and assisted with the retrieval of the canisters.  You did a fine service to your City.


                                            ADVENTURES IN SYN CITY FROM OTHER EYES
                                                                -Written by: Beezy

    It was your average day in Syn City... ya know with all the shooting, robbing, drinking, smoking the works? There was a gathering over at Sinner's Bar with of course almost all of the Sinners and a few Vipers.. Beezy, Angel, and Moses. Everyone was kicking it having a good time, two gangs actually getting along. What a shocker right?.. Don't get your hopes up though because it did not last too long. One thing lead to the next and a HUGE fight broke out! Now doesn't this sound more like your average day.. I think so..  It's unclear what exactly started the fight but it ended in bloodshed on both sides.  Vipers managed to have the most members remaining standing at the end and won the fight though the war between Vipers and the Oso/Sinner alliance is still going strong.

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Page 2: Announcements & Events
((IC & OOC))
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SCFD OPEN ONCE MORE
    Syn City's Fire Department is up and running once again.  Fail is still Fire Chief but released from duties due to medical reasons while Firefighters Lynsey, Lilly, and Fi do their duty protecting the City.  Lilly is second in command and will be in charge while Fail is out on medical leave.  Worry no more, ya got a fire?  They'll put it out and leave ya wet!

THE DATING GAME
     The Dating Game is coming to Syn City hosted by the Syn City Gazette!  The date and time will be announced in the future but the Syn City Gazette is asking for contestants.  If you are interested in possibly being a contestant on the live show that will take place at the radio station, drop a note in the mailbox located outside the Gazette offices.  Read below for more information.

What is the Dating Game?

     The Dating Game is a game show where there is a single guy and three girls. Both, the guys       and the girls will be blindfolded having no idea who the others are. The guy asks the three girls various questions until he finally choses one to take out on a date. The questions are up to the guy as long as they are not an attempt to try to figure out who the girls are. The girls have the right to "Plead the 5th" but doing so may limit their chances of winning the date.

Rules
1. All contestants must have RLV activated.
2. All contestants will wear a blindfold (2 different ones so that people's names are hidden as well as their screen being black).
3. Each of the three girls will be assigned a number 1, 2, or 3 and will use said number in their emotes. For example, a girl's response would look like the following: Girl 3 enjoys long walks on the beach and cuddling. The guy will do the same, referring to himself as Guy, his questions might look like the following: Girl 2, do you have any kinks and what are they?
4. The guy will have 30 minutes to ask questions. At the end of the 30 minutes, he will choose either Girl 1, 2, or 3 to go on a date with for 2 hours. The date can be arranged between the two winning contestants to be completed at their convenience.
5. Contestants are chosen by the Syn City Gazette. You do NOT get to choose who you will be on stage with.
6. If you cannot participate at the date and time assigned to you, you will inform the Gazette ASAP so arrangements can be made.
7. All contestants must agree to abide by all rules prior to participation.

SYNFUL PLEASURES

    Saturday night citizens celebrated the coming of the Fall season with their Spring into Fall event wearing everything from swim trunks to Eskimo attire with DJ Angel spinning the tunes.  With the first mosh pit of the season, it's official...Fall has arrived in Syn City!  Coming in at first was Cosmo, 2nd was Amber and third, Wolf.

    Sunday, Synful Pleasures brought us Zombie vs. Zombie Hunter and there were some amazing looks to enjoy while DJ Crisis played the tunes.  Fail brought home top prize with Crisis and Dimitri coming in at 2nd and 3rd.  Dimitri's the headless man in the picture.

    !!!WARNING!!!  Directly from the CDC...do NOT use any water for drinking or for bathing, it has been contaminated and is considered dangerous including bottled water.  Doing so can lead to irritated dry skin, foggy brain, memory loss, and irrational thinking as well as the Axe Effect in some citizens.  Instead, make use of the Vodka provided to the citizens of Syn City by the CDC.

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Page 3: Who's Who
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   This week in Who's Who, we're introducing local DA member, JJ who is Seargant at Arms, an Underboss for DA and brother to Isa.  Like many others, he had a hard time at first finding his place in Syn but thankfully due to his sister, he has now found his home.  He came here hoping for a place of excitement after the years he spent overseas doing mercenary work for the United States army already trained and skilled.  Since his time here, he's grown immensely.  As SAA of DA, JJ plans to "strengthen its interior....build and establish relationships with other well known factions in the city...and overall see us grow and be considered a dominating factor in the city....We are small now but we are family and we are loyal ....and loyality pays off."  Despite DA's small size, JJ is hopeful for their future.  When asked about the accusations of DA harboring terrorists, JJ responded with "let me be clear and frank being a patriot of this country and a citizen of this city....DA is not involved in any acts of terrorism against the homeland or this city....If you tell me who made these accusations i will personally confront them myself....People need to get their facts straight  and not speculate....I mean seriously think about it .....how would a new gang prosper by harming the very city its trying to establish itself in...."  Good question....He'd like the citizens of Syn City to know that "The DA is here to stay...we take note of peoples kindness and we also take note of peoples wrath and bullyness....We will establish ourselves in this city...regardless of who likes us or doesnt....We are not like any other gang in this city....No pimping...no hoes....no prospects....Just your word....which is your bond....If you break it......we will break you....I highly suggest that certain factions set their differences asside and have a sit down with the DA...so that alliances can be formed and bonds created......We at the DA hold ourselves to a high standard and dont put our word on anything we cant deliver...."  I couldn't have said it better myself.

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Page 4: Lifestyles
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❖ Dear Abby


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**Want to ask Abby for advice? Simply drop a note in the mailbox outside Crissy's apartment behind Synful Pleasures, Dear Abby responds to everyone!**  ((NOTE: Crissy rewrites all Dear Abby's before handing them over to Abby to answer so they can be kept anonymous.))

❖ Rumor Has It
**Have you heard a rumour you want to share?  Send it to us.**

1.  Dr.Celeste being was arrested for no gun permit, but the arresting female officer took a liking to her and Dr. Celeste fucked her and then didn't call her the day after, the female officer was angry about getting duped, so I hear...
2.  According to one of Shink's hoe's, the home he provides her, which we're assuming to be Sinner's Motel, is infested with roaches.
3.  One of Shink's hoe's is pregnant and he refuses to let her go to the hospital.  Someone tried to help her but Shink got mad and scared the person so bad that she's scared to talk to the hoe.
4.  Amber's ex, Three "Owen" Brentley was back in Syn one night this week.  Cosmo asked him how his son was and he says it isn't his.  That he said he paid the doctor to say that it was.  So if Amber's son, Ashton Drake Brentley isn't Three's, who's the Father?  Is Amber not as innocent as everyone thinks?  Or is Three just saying he paid off the doctor in order to get out of child support?
5.  A little birdy informed me of an incident at Oso Park.  Kylie called Ross out for texting her so much and said if he had anything to say, to say it in front of everyone.  Ross went on and on about how he loved her and was so hurt she was with JJ.  It was then made public that Kylie isn't dating JJ or anyone for that matter right now.  Moses came to the rescue telling Ross to leave Kylie alone and to stop harassing her.  JJ challenged Ross to a fight but Ross declined and walked away.  Kylie and JJ really are just good friends despite the rumors.
6.  A fight over Snarkie happened after the event at the club Saturday night between Damen and Nick.  Apparently both men have interests in the Sinner hoe.
7.  Sinners when not enjoying shooting the Vipers rather enjoy having them around.  So why all the animosity still?
8.  Petal has a hit list and Shink is working his way to the top of it.
9.  Mo and Cosmo are officially a couple so it seems.  Two enemies dating and fucking.  How will this affect everyone else?  Word is, Cosmo wants to leave her Sinner ways and join Mo in the Vipers.
**Have you heard a rumour you want to share?  Send it to us.**


❖ Shout Outs
    Wanna give a shout out to someone?  Have a message you want delivered in a different way?  Know someone with a birthday coming up and want to wish them a happy one?

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Page 5: Letter to the Editor
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    Have something you wanna say?  Here's your chance to be heard!  Send in your letters to the Editor and give yourself a voice to be heard!

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Page 6: Want Ads
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    Looking to hire?  Perhaps you're looking for a mate?  Send in your ads and who knows, you might just find what you've been looking for.

❖ The Syn City Gazette has immediate openings.  Candidates should have good writing skills and be an ACTIVE Syn City Resident.  There are a variety of positions available.  Some positions require working under tight deadlines, multi-tasking, working with the public, and covering municipal meetings, breaking news, features and other events as assigned.  Experience with photography, video and social media is preferred, but not required.  Candidates must be available to work a flexible schedule, and some weekends and holidays.  The SCG is a weekly newspaper and is located behind Syn City Bank.  Stop by for an application today!
❖  Vipers Garage is now hiring everything from pump girls and cashiers to mechanics!  No experience necessary allthough for mechanics, experience is preferred.  Stop by and put in an application or speak to Amber Venom (karmarider) today!
❖  New to Syn City and not sure where to go or what to do?  Been looking for a job and just can't seem to find one and having to live on the streets from one empty spot to the next?  If so, Holly Molly Maid's Service might be the place for you.  Holly Molly is now accepting applications.  Come visit Holly Molly down at the docks and put in your application today or contact Amber Venom (karmarider).
❖  Have you been dreaming of working in the fabulous world of radio? If so this is your chance Syn City! Your very own local radio Synful Sounds WXXX is NOW HIRING DJs! Interested? I know you are!

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Page 7: Advertisements
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    Advertise your business.  Get your name out there and make everyone aware what it is you have to offer.

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Got ideas or suggestions?  Let us know.  If you have something you'd like to include in the next issue, drop a note in the mailbox outside Syn City Gazette's Office located just behind Syn City Bank.

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DISCLAIMER: LET IT BE KNOWN, THAT NO MATTER WHAT IS WRITTEN IN THIS PUBLICATION, UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE, IT IS STRICTLY IN CHARACTER!!! I SHOULD INFORM YOU, I CONSIDER EVENTS FOR THE MOST PART IC...FOR THE MOST PART LOL.  ABSOLUTELY NO OOC INSULTS WILL EVER BE USED...EVER!!! SO IF YOU FEEL SOMETHING IS DIRECTED TOWARD YOU OOCLY, AND YOU TAKE OFFENSE, UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE MISTAKEN!!! RUMORS ARE FOR FUN ONLY, WITH NO MALICE IN MIND AND THEY ARE USUALLY NOT EVEN TRUE!!!  

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