Syn City Gazette: Issue 2

***********************************************************************************

Syn City Gazette

Issue 2

September 10, 2013

Editor-in-Chief - Crissy Forster

Price: 10 Brunsens - 1 issue, 30 Brunsens - Monthly Subscription
***********************************************************************************

Table of Contents

❖Page 1 - In the News:  Keep up-to-date on current events and what's happening in Syn City.
❖Page 2 - Announcements
❖Page 3 - Who's Who - Here, you will get to know your friends and neighbors, perhaps in a way that surprises you!
❖Page 4 - Lifestyles: Dear Abby, Rumour Has It, Shout Outs
❖Page 5 - Letter to the Editor
❖Page 6 - Want Ads
❖Page 7 - Advertisements

***********************************************************************************

Page 3: Who's Who
***********************************************************************************

        This week in Who's Who, I spoke with the man who likes to be referred to as King of Syn, Sir Black...Boss of the Vipers.  There is much talk about the City in reference to not only the Vipers but the one known as King of Syn as well, some good and some bad so this reporter went straight to the source.  In speaking with him about his personal life as well as the Vipers, it's clear one thing...family is definitely important to him.  The Vipers have not always been as dominant an enterprise as they are today.  At one point, the whole City thought they were finished but today they seem to be thriving better then ever and according to some, run the City.  According to the King, "there is always obstacles...but we are really good at sorting them if you know what I mean...now we do run the city but no one gave us anything...everything we have we worked it up from the ground."  The King did have a message for all the "Haters" in Syn City, "Don't like me?...Have a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck."  He stated that it not only referred to him as an individual but the Vipers as well.  As arrogant as he might seem, he doesn't fail to recognize the others around him stating that "There is no Great Black without a Great Family and a great wife."  In speaking with the King about himself and the Vipers, one can't help but be impressed with his responses.  The past is the past, we live in the here and now.  Do you?

***********************************************************************************

Page 1: In the News
***********************************************************************************

    !!!WARNING!!!  In top news this week, be on alert, all eyes open for a crazy man who escaped from the Psych Ward.  He has pale skin with tattoos and short black hair that partially covers his wounded face, approximately 6 foot tall.  He's been seen wearing scissor gloves in the past.  Be forewarned, the man is VERY dangerous.  He starts with attempting to cut your precious locks and when he fails turns to talking about ripping your head off and eating it for dinner.  It is believed the man suffers from a hair cutting obsession and cannibalism.  If any see this man, RUN and call your local PD IMMEDIATELY.  Suspect is considered armed and dangerous!

    The SCPD held a press conference Monday afternoon introducing the PD staff and stating that all current laws regarding the City will be doing a full 180.  Everything that was illegal is now legal and everything that's legal is now illegal.  What does this mean?  Who knows, those at the conference are still trying to figure it out.  One thing it means is that current fines are suspended...great but unfortunately since sitting at home watching a movie on your paid for cable is illegal who knows what to make of all this.  The Police Chief stated that from henceforth all fines are now a flat rate of 100 Brunsens and any and all arrest will be at the discretion of the SCPD.  Seems to me this is a way for them to arrest who they want for whatever they want.  Perhaps the SCPD are getting bored of sitting in the station all day long?  Needless to say, most citizens are NOT happy with the announced changes.  The SCPD will be taking feedback on how the new system is working but hmm if giving feedback WAS legal is it even legal to give feedback?  Honestly...this reporter doesn't even know what else to say about this stupidity. 

    Police responded supposedly to a call about smoke coming from the Oso Headquarters Friday afternoon.  Upon a search of the building, the all clear was called when nothing was found.  Shortly after, the reason for their true search was revealed by Officer Fyng.  Apparently there's been reports of Oso's stealing condoms from Vipers.  All present were searched, those believed to be Oso members at least.  Doing so wasn't the easiest of tasks as some believed they could pick and choose who searched them, particularly the men present.  The search wasn't your typical search procedures as the SCPD attempted to force one of the men to pull his pants down.  When that didn't go so well, all others were told to get against the wall and the search was underway with hands roaming over the various Oso members not caring if personal items were damaged or not when one of the Officer's broke a watch, a gift from Shawn's wife.  It seemed like they were messing with them more then searching them, trying to rile them up.  All that was confiscated was a small baggy of white pills with a batman logo on them said to be aspirin and believed to be drugs.  Police will be looking into the legalization of what's being called "batman aspirin".  Officer Fyng wished to make a statement to the citizens of Syn City "Stolen condoms and lint balls will not be tolerated in this City.  Anyone possessing such items will be prosecuted at the fullest extent of the law."  There were no actual condoms found in the search.  The Oso Boss, Eva stated "I'd like to point out that right now all they have is speculation with no actual psychical evidence."  Officer Fyng wished to have that statement stricken from the paper but this paper does what it can to bring the news, all of it.  In short, don't carry condoms or lint in your pockets or risk being prosecuted.  Easy enough right?  Yeahhh uh huh...I'm thinking the same thing you are. 
    Not everyone that wins a fight is cruel or vicious to their captor.  It is nice to see that when someone loses a fair fight, they keep in mind whether there is hate or cruelty between those involved or not and treat the captive accordingly.  I must say it was a nice change when an unknown redhead who I shall refer to as "Red" not only was nice to her captive but tended to the captive's wounds as well all while having her name slandered in the streets only afterwards tending to her own wounds.  It takes a lot to impress this reporter and little Red did just that. Seeing the good side of people is a rarity in Syn City and I for one, consider THAT newsworthy.

        Apparently, get a few drinks into Shink and he'll do just about anything to make the paper, even stunt man tricks.  Late Tuesday night after having apparently one too many he decided to strap a rocket to his back and shoot himself up into the air and parachute back down landing on his bike.  The little stunt was exceptionally well done and went as planned without a hitch but all that changed when he talked Kay into doing the same.  She strapped a rocket onto her back in the same manner Shink had and took off shooting up into the air, without a parachute!  Thankfully Shink realized what had happened and this reporter called 911.  The local fire department had to be called to bring out the inflatable rescue device.  Due to quick responses thankfully Kay's life was saved.  Use this as a reminder...don't get drunk and try to impress a member of the opposite sex.  It might not, usually won't, work out as planned.
    Did you know if a prisoner is being held at the jail in the yard, you aren't suppose to approach them?  Apparently that's the case according to one Officer though bare in mind, the yard is positioned in a way to allow just that.  There's no signs stating not to approach the fence either.  So if they don't want prisoners approached, why have the yard where it's at?  Why have no sign?  Though, in the past they have been allowed to on numerous occasions so which is it?  Are visitors allowed to approach the fence to talk to the inmate or not?  If not, why is the yard located where it's at with no notification of such policy?  Keep in mind while telling two friends of the inmate they couldn't talk to him, the same Officer stood by and did nothing as another person mooned the inmate.  Does that seem fair to you?  Put yourself in the situation, would you be happy?  I think not.  What's fair for one, is fair for another.  Either visitors are allowed or they aren't, period.

***********************************************************************************
Page 2: Announcements & Events
((IC & OOC))
***********************************************************************************

    Proud parents, Shawn and Selena Regan are happy to announce the birth of Isabella Marie Regan born on September 4th around 4 o'clock PM.  Sweet little Isabella weighed 6 pounds, 8 ounces and was 20 inches long.  Be sure to congratulate the happy couple on welcoming another resident to Syn City.
    Live in Vipers Park, also known as Oso Park to some, Wiseguys are hosting a Halestorm concert starting at 1:30 pm slt performed by the Wet Kitties so come on out and enjoy yourself!
    There's a new Headquarters and new graffiti over the town.  What is this new group that's popped up?  So far very little is known but this reporter is going to do what she can to get the full story.
    Synful Pleasures hosts events every Saturday night and Sunday afternoon it seems. If you miss the events, don't worry...you can find out all the juicy stuff here in your local paper!  Saturday night, Synful Pleasures hosted a PreWar Day Celebration inviting everyone out to enjoy the great tunes offered up by DJ Fyng in their best War Gear even the now flying robot known as Mach2 made an appearance.  Coming in at first was Wolf, next in line was Ricky, and last but not least, Athena bringing in third.  Thanks to all that came out! 

    I'll admit, when I got the news of War Day, being a level 4 at the time...I'm a whopping lvl 5 now yay...insert eye roll...anywayyyy, needless to say, I wasn't too thrilled knowing I'd just be an easy kill.  I've got to say though, even a low-level like myself can have fun.  Yeah okay, so what I tried to catch a camper now and again or someone that well, to be honest is just slow to make up for all the high-levels taking me down.  If someone as sucky and as low-level as me can have fun, anyone can if they have the right group of people around to make it so.  Everyone had a blast with War Day from the close combat fight to Mach2 coming out to play.  It was a blast until it turned from War Day to Syn City versus the Vipers.  It was quite evident that while the Vipers were defending the City against Mach2 with most of the other citizens, not counting of course, the citizens that used that to their advantage and chose to attack Vipers rather then Mach2, the attention of the cops was in fact on the Vipers, not other citizens.  Therefore War Day has been renamed to Syn City versus the Vipers.  That is until the Vipers decided they'd had enough and chose to go on strike leaving the rest of the citizens to fight amongst themselves boycotting War Day.

***********************************************************************************
Page 4: Lifestyles
***********************************************************************************

❖ Dear Abby

Dear Abby,
    I am a sexy, strong-willed, single girl looking for a man.  All I seem to attract are women....I'm straight!  How can I find a single, good dominant man?  One that isn't a push over and knows he's dominant and how to dominate a girl like me.  Please help.
-SpankmeDaddy

Dear SpankmeDaddy,
 You should start by hanging out around areas that are known to have single men, like a bar. Then be sure to let ladies know you're not interested but take it politely. Thirdly if I knew where a man like that hung out around I would definitely go along with you! The key is just waiting, watching, and making a move in a way that will make them feel as if they're making it.  Judge how they react and you'll know if they're dominant or passive. Always remember though that you can search but if it's right, it will fall into place on its own. May you find your other half!
-Abby___________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Abby,
    I have an obsession and I don't know what to do about it.  I'm a sexy arrogant man but when it comes to Ricky, I can't get her out of my head.  It's gotten so bad that I had to pay someone to stalk her and keep the picture of her in my wallet.  It was taken from me and now I have nothing!  I even stalk her kids because I want to be their daddy.  I want to be HER baby Daddy.  How can I get her to notice me?  Please help me get the woman of my dreams.
-Stalking&Obsessing

Dear Stalking,
Just stop. There is no advice I can give to you, you seem crazed. If she is with someone else and even has children she is obviously not interested and will not be interested. I hate to break it to you but you have taken it to a whole new level of creep and if she ever found out I'm sure you'd be six feet under. If that doesn't give you a clue then there isn't much else I can tell you.  Clearly there are other girls around who are in need/want of a controlling, dominant man like yourself so put yourself back onto the market and remember that you can't love a woman who doesn't want to love you, I mean you can but it's just a repeated vicious cycle of broken heart and creepiness.
-Abby



**Want to ask Abby for advice? Simply drop a note in the mailbox outside Crissy's apartment behind Synful Pleasures, Dear Abby responds to everyone!**

❖ Rumor Has It
**Have you heard a rumour you want to share?  Send it to us.**

1.  Word around the City is that Kay who works at H4L is great at spreading them.  Line 'em up guys and gals too, it's believed she swings both ways.
2.  Lyns, an Oso has a crush on Moses, Viper man...so sources say!  She pouts wondering why he didn't call after giving him her number.
3.  Sinner's Bar is located where it is due to the fact that the other gangs in the city allow it according to some of the citizens of the City.
4.  Apparently Shink isn't the only freaky deaky in Syn City, Petal's theme song should be "Skat Woman" according to some.  Apparently, she's totally into scat.
5.  El Comandante dislikes hoes but when it comes to Ladies, he thinks he can seduce them.  Ladies, you agree?  One Lady wasn't impressed.
6.  Fredo is out to piss off every boss in town.  He comes up to all the bosses or their person that they prize most and tries to fight them.
7.  El Comandante challenged 3 Mercosos he had no chance of winning against.  Brave?  Stupid or out to prove a point?  Some are saying stupid, others overly cocky.  He considered it a challenge for groups to stop hiring Mercs.
8.  Viper park?  Oso park?  There seems to be some kind of confusion.  According to the Committee's website, it is in fact named, Viper's Park.
9.  Alister in a 1vs1 against a female ran to his HQ.  Thought 1vs1's were about skill not who hid in a building shooting out of it?  Even hiding in his HQ couldn't save him, she won.
10.  Angel complains she can't score because all guys in Syn City are too scared to talk to Viper girls.  Men...she's looking to score!
**Have you heard a rumour you want to share?  Send it to us.**

❖ Shout Outs
    Wanna give a shout out to someone?  Have a message you want delivered in a different way?  Know someone with a birthday coming up and want to wish them a happy one?

***********************************************************************************
Page 5: Letter to the Editor
***********************************************************************************

    Have something you wanna say?  Here's your chance to be heard!  Send in your letters to the Editor and give yourself a voice to be heard!

***********************************************************************************
Page 6: Want Ads
***********************************************************************************

    Looking to hire?  Perhaps you're looking for a mate?  Send in your ads and who knows, you might just find what you've been looking for.

❖  Wiseguys is seeking to hire bartenders and dancers.  Applicants must be good at handling money and an active Syn City resident.  Good looks and sense of style are a plus.  Applicant must be available to work three shifts or more each week.  Apply now by contacting Steffie Mason (Steffie Manen) or Wolf Mason (ArnoldSmithy Resident).
❖  Oasis Casino is now hiring!  There are a variety of positions available.  Applicants must be good at administrating money and be an active Syn City resident.  Applicant will be expected to work three shifts a week.  Good looks and a sense of style are a plus.  Apply now by contacting Agent (Carlos MacAlpine) or Eva Smith (Evafire Resident).

***********************************************************************************
Page 7: Advertisements
***********************************************************************************

    Advertise your business.  Get your name out there and make everyone aware what it is you have to offer.

❖  Have you noticed a stench lately?  Tired of stepping through dirt and over trash around your home or office?  Then HOLLY MOLLY MAID SERVICE is just for you!  No home or office is too dirty nor stench too horrific for the wonderful people at Holly Molly.  They'll leave your home or business looking and smelling like new.  Contact Holly Molly today for an appointment.  They can be located on the SS HOLLYMOLLY at the Syn City Docks.

***********************************************************************************

Got ideas or suggestions?  Let us know.  If you have something you'd like to include in the next issue, drop a note in the mailbox outside Crissy's apartment behind Synful Pleasures.

***********************************************************************************

DISCLAIMER: LET IT BE KNOWN, THAT NO MATTER WHAT IS WRITTEN IN THIS PUBLICATION, UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE, IT IS STRICTLY IN CHARACTER!!! I SHOULD INFORM YOU, I CONSIDER EVENTS FOR THE MOST PART IC...FOR THE MOST PART LOL.  ABSOLUTELY NO OOC INSULTS WILL EVER BE USED...EVER!!! SO IF YOU FEEL SOMETHING IS DIRECTED TOWARD YOU OOCLY, AND YOU TAKE OFFENSE, UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE MISTAKEN!!! RUMORS ARE FOR FUN ONLY, WITH NO MALICE IN MIND AND THEY ARE USUALLY NOT EVEN TRUE!!!  

***********************************************************************************