Syn City Gazette: Issue 1

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Syn City Gazette

Issue 1

September 2, 2013

Editor-in-Chief - Crissy Forster

Price: 10 Brunsens - 1 issue, 30 Brunsens - Monthly Subscription
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Table of Contents

❖Page 1 - In the News:  Keep up-to-date on current events and what's happening in Syn City.
❖Page 2 - Announcements
❖Page 3 - Who's Who - Here, you will get to know your friends and neighbors, perhaps in a way that surprises you!
❖Page 4 - Lifestyles: Dear Abby, Rumour Has It, Shout Outs
❖Page 5 - Letter to the Editor
❖Page 6 - Want Ads
❖Page 7 - Advertisements

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Page 1: In the News
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    Late Saturday night, August 31st, there was a three vehicle pile up near the Syn City docks.  One of the vehicles involved was a black SUV, one was a motorcycle and the other a purple sports car.  The drivers of those vehicles will remain unnamed...this time.  Thankfully, all involved walked away from the crash unharmed with minor damages to the vehicles.  Use this as a reminder, when driving...stay on your side of the road and respect the speed limits.  Next time it could be you and it might be your life on the line.
    On Sunday, apparently there was a joint effort by the SCPD to take down the Vipers.  Six Vipers fell at the hands of those involved in the effort.  The Vipers were unwilling to talk with the press about the issue.  However, I can quote Sir Fyng who said the fight included "this Jesus fellow who apparently talks a lot of shit and can't back it up."  Mighty strong words, doesn't seem the SCPD is scared of the Vipers who some say run this City not only with the number of council members but the number of businesses as well.  The story of what caused the fight is more then a tad bit confusing.  One story is that there wasn't a reason.  Then again perhaps it had something to do with the fine Maya had to pay but if she paid them, why the attack?  We will have to wait until the court date to find out what really went down.
    In a few days, the SCPD will be holding a press conference.  My source stated that major changes would be coming to the City and they've already been approved by the Mayor.  They would not reveal any details but worry not, Syn City Gazette WILL be there and will bring you word of those changes!  This reporter is already investigating hoping to get details before the big press release.
    Despite what some might believe, the Council has been busy so it seems.  Though one on the Council says that they are "in disarray" and that City Leaders have become "complacent".  Some of the topics on the agenda being discussed are improving the economy and the forming of a committee of people made up of Syn City citizens that will keep it's leaders in check.  There's also been discussions in looking at how to change the way the police department works as well as the current legal system in place.  Apparently, the economy is in trouble due to citizens and their lack of spending.  Currently the economy seems to be the big issue being discussed. None of the aforementioned has been confirmed as of yet but...all in due time.  Will the elections coming up in October make a difference?  Is the City already too corrupted and overtaken with gangs?  Keep your eyes and ears open for information on the upcoming election, there are seats available.
    Late Saturday night, the Bodega burned down.  Seeing that it's the only such market in town, plans are already underway to rebuild so worry not, soon enough, it will return.

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Page 2: Announcements & Events
((IC & OOC))
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    Synful Pleasures hosts events every Saturday and Sunday. If you miss the events, don't worry...you can find out all the juicy stuff here in your local paper!  This past Saturday, Synful Pleasures hosted a Show Us Your Balls event with DJ Fyng spinning the tunes.  Football uniforms to cheerleaders and balls galore, it was oodles of fun.  The winners of the contest were as follows:  First Place: Wolf, Second Place: Eva, and Third Place: Ali.  Congratulations to all the winners.  Sunday, Synful Pleasures brought us High Times with their event.  Puff, Puff, give was the theme of the theme of the day while citizens came out and showed their support for the sticky icky with DJ Ayrin bringing pleasure to our ears with some of people's favorite music. From pot leaves barely covering nipples and hooha's to leaves in the hair there's no mistaking the smoke in the air.  Even those not smoking must have had a contact high.  In first place was Steffie in her marijuana bikini, pot leaf in her hair.  In second, Athena in her weed top and bikini panties giving a great peep at her breasts.  In third was Fredo and by the time found him in the crowd, he was already stripping due to winning!  Congratulations to all!
    Monday several citizens decided to take over the area in front of the docks and turn it into a beach.  Sand was brought in as well as a tiki bar, grill and even palm trees!  Whoever pulled it off, awesome job, the block party was loads of fun.  Some complained of having sand in places they never knew they had.  Bikinis, a BBQ, and great music played by DJ Ricky...does it get any better?  Enjoy the sunshine while you still can.  Hope everyone enjoyed their day off, nothing like a 3-day weekend!  The winners of the contest were Eva, Athena, and Dolly with Eva in 1st place.

     The Vipers have done it again!  There's a new business in town, Holly Molly Maid Service. The Viper Corporation made the announcement at a press conference on August 31st.  Maya, who made the announcement stated ""On Behalf of the Viper Corporation, the Viper Family and the Board of Directors, I'd like to thank all of you for being here on another Historic Day.  This city is being overrun by dirty inhabitants, who are usually too busy to clean after themselves. Most of the Government buildings, Police Station, Hospital and other non-Viper Headquarters have a certain stench related to them.....this stench comes from years of not cleaning. We, at the Viper Corporation know that many of these buildings do need a good cleaning....So we introduced our newest business, in a line of successful Viper Businesses, like H4L and the Garage.....we introduce....."Holly Molly Maid Service".  Seems the Vipers are trying to send out a message and it isn't just the introduction of their newest business.
    There's something brewing in the air at Syn City.  Anger and tempers rising.  There is a day coming, a day when the city will be in an all out war.  No one will remain standing by day's end.  Syn City's War Day is coming up on September 8th starting at 12:00 am Sunday morning and ending at 12:00 am Monday morning.  Beware.

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Page 3: Who's Who
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    This week in Who's Who we have a man who wears many hats, Alister Crowley.  He's a Councilman, Entrepreneur, Synful Pleasures Casting Director, and a Hospital Security Guard.  At first glance, it seems he cares deeply for this City and it's inhabitants and when asked his goals, responded with "to make the city I love a better place" and to "live a good life".  Those same goals might be had by many citizens living here but Councilman Alister, seems to be doing all he can to achieve those goals though at the same time, he does seem to enjoy the...shall we say finer things in life, like women, slaves, and whores.  Alister stated that the cafe is one of the most successful businesses in Syn and he anticipates further success for himself and his cafe

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Page 4: Lifestyles
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❖ Dear Abby

    Dear Abby,
I am a 21 year old girl who considers herself to be quite a partier. I recently started a new job with a pretty strict "No Drinking and No Drugs" policy. How do I keep my job and my lifestyle?
-Too Young To Settle/Too Broke To Party

Dear Too Young,
Firstly, I think you should take your financial situation more seriously than your social one. When you find yourself in good standing you can get back to your ways a bit more discretely. I advise staying away from things that don't clear out of your system quickly while allowing yourself to still enjoy a glass of wine.
Yours truly,
Abby
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Dear Abby,
How does one go about hooking a man? I mean there are NO single guys in my area but I'm ready to mingle. What's a girl to do?
- Single and Ready to Mingle

Dear Ready to Mingle,
It's ok to take the first step, just because you're a woman you need to break the mold. Set up a "Single's Only" party night, pass around the info to friends and see who shows up. If that doesn't work out as well maybe venture out a bit more or get ahold of someone who knows more people in town. Be ready to make the move though, good things don't come to those who wait good things come to those who work for it!
Yours truly,
Abby
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Dear Abby,
As a leader of a group (not a gang) I find myself constantly resorting to violent approaches even to mundane things, like my lady wearing a hair tie with polka dots of the rival gan...I mean group. I know she isn't supporting them but I got so mad I made her sleep in the other room. How can I find ways to keep calm without losing my alpha male ways?
-Not a gang leader

Dear Not a Gang Leader,
It becomes hard when you try to take out a color of a rival group out of your life entirely. Seahawk's fans hate Black and Yellow but it's impossible to avoid those colors, so instead of finding yourself angry enjoy the color without the emotion hateful attachment. Get yourself a stress ball or start doing mental stress exercises when you find yourself getting angry. If your lower group members respect you they shouldn't find you losing your status, but if you are afraid of that simply do it in private. Feel free to exercise your alpha male mode still, but remember loved ones are there through thick and thin so try to treat them nicely!
Yours truly,
Abby


**Want to ask Abby for advice? Simply drop a note in the mailbox outside Crissy's apartment behind Synful Pleasures, Dear Abby responds to everyone!**

❖ Rumor Has It
**Have you heard a rumour you want to share?  Send it to us.**

1.  Shrink is a man with kinky pleasures.  He's ordered a full latex mask with straps and a ball gag from Hoes4Less and wants to see tears coming out of their eyes.  Is this the start to fulfilling a sexual fantasy or does he have a more gruesome intent?
2.  OSO's been seen on their knees a couple times in the past week.  They're kneeling to none other then....the Vipers.  Are they kneeling to them or merely biding their time until they can return the favour.
3.  One of the OSO crew has been seen sneaking out late at night to visit a home belonging to a member of the Vipers.  Is it sexual or is someone leaking inside information to the enemy?
4.  There's talk of an alliance of individuals with plans to better the City and lower the control the Vipers have in the City.  Some involved believe the Mayor and the rest of the government have been corrupted.
5.  Ali is well on his way to losing his Dinner to one of the local gangs who's been harrasing him in broad day light.  Apparently, Ali is pissed at the SCPD and goverment officials for standing back and doing nothing but letting them get away with it.
6.  Dina plans to run for City Council in October.
7.  One of the OSO dancers appears to be female at first glance but downstairs...is allllll male.  Which one is it?  Is it one you've had your eyes on?  Perhaps one you've played with but never gone all the way a time or two?  Apparently she, he, it's not the only one with a secret down south either.

**Have you heard a rumour you want to share?  Send it to us.**

❖ Shout Outs
    Wanna give a shout out to someone?  Have a message you want delivered in a different way?  Know someone with a birthday coming up and want to wish them a happy one?

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Page 5: Letter to the Editor
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    Have something you wanna say?  Here's your chance to be heard!  Send in your letters to the Editor and give yourself a voice to be heard!

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Page 6: Want Ads
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    Looking to hire?  Perhaps you're looking for a mate?  Send in your ads and who knows, you might just find what you've been looking for.

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Page 7: Advertisements
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    Advertise your business.  Get your name out there and make everyone aware what it is you have to offer.

❖  Have you noticed a stench lately?  Tired of stepping through dirt and over trash around your home or office?  Then HOLLY MOLLY MAID SERVICE is just for you!  No home or office is too dirty nor stench too horrific for the wonderful people at Holly Molly.  They'll leave your home or business looking and smelling like new.  Contact Holly Molly today for an appointment.  They can be located on the SS HOLLYMOLLY at the Syn City Docks.

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Got ideas or suggestions?  Let us know.  If you have something you'd like to include in the next issue, drop a note in the mailbox outside Crissy's apartment behind Synful Pleasures.

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DISCLAIMER: LET IT BE KNOWN, THAT NO MATTER WHAT IS WRITTEN IN THIS PUBLICATION, UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE, IT IS STRICTLY IN CHARACTER!!! I SHOULD INFORM YOU, I CONSIDER EVENTS FOR THE MOST PART IC...FOR THE MOST PART LOL.  ABSOLUTELY NO OOC INSULTS WILL EVER BE USED...EVER!!! SO IF YOU FEEL SOMETHING IS DIRECTED TOWARD YOU OOCLY, AND YOU TAKE OFFENSE, UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE MISTAKEN!!! RUMORS ARE FOR FUN ONLY, WITH NO MALICE IN MIND AND THEY ARE USUALLY NOT EVEN TRUE!!!  

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