Syn City Gazette: Issue 6

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Syn City Gazette

Issue 6

October 7, 2013

Editor-in-Chief - Crissy Forster

Price: 10 Brunsens - 1 issue, 30 Brunsens - Monthly Subscription
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Table of Contents

❖Page 1 - In the News:  Keep up-to-date on current events and what's happening in Syn City.
❖Page 2 - Announcements
❖Page 3 - Who's Who - Here, you will get to know your friends and neighbors, perhaps in a way that surprises you!
❖Page 4 - Lifestyles: Dear Abby, Rumour Has It, Shout Outs
❖Page 5 - Letter to the Editor
❖Page 6 - Want Ads
❖Page 7 - Advertisements

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Page 1: In the News
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WHAT'S IN OUR WATER!?!

    The gazette team has been fighting hard to find out the facts about Syn City’s water and what’s exactly going on with it.  It’s been brought to our attention that the water is in fact poisonous, and is pumping through our pipes into the heart of our city and being distributed to all the residents.  The situation first started when police were alerted of someone illegally dumping trash into the lake, which flows into the city’s water supply.  Sources say that there has been someone from a special task force called in to investigate this matter.  So far, the information gathered is quite scarce, but nonetheless important.  Samples of the city’s water were sent off to a lab in Washington and it has been unveiled that someone has discovered a method of weaponizing fecal material and using it to poison our water supply.  Is this a terrorist attack, or is it a simple accident gone badly?  We do not know at this point.   There are several leads in the works on who is truly responsible for this travesty, and we can be assured that the situation will be taken care of by our wonderful and devoted police force.   The main suspects in the case are the members of the DA gang, as well as someone within the Sinners gang.  Note that these are prime allegations, and not proven.   Citizens have been reporting that this attack is coming from the DA headquarters.  Many other eye witnesses report seeing this so called person from the Sinners gang dumping into the lake.  One of the top suspicions is a terrorist cell located within the City using the DA gang as it's cover up.
    The worst news, is that not only has the City's water supply been contaminated, but the bottled water being shipped into the city as well which has lead the CDC to disperse barrels of Vodka throughout the City for citizens to use as drinking as well as bathing water.  Drinking or bathing in the water has been known to cause irritated dry skin, foggy brain, memory loss, and irrational thinking.  In men, it is also believed it causes what's being referred to as the Axe Effect as well.  Bear in mind, not all men seem to be affected in this manner but be aware, the Axe Effect is believed to be a result of the water exposure that instills in the men a type of pheromone that attracts girls to them while making the girls become totally disillusioned.  Some believed to be affected by the Axe Effect are the DA boys, Mo, and Dan.  It's believed the intent is to distract the females causing them to lose their focus so that the terrorists can then come in and take control of the City.  Those infected with the Axe Effect have also been reported as having large ego's.  Please be advised, this is NOT a joking matter.  The CDC and SCPD are both investigating this.  We will keep you updated.  Stay away from all water! 

ALLIANCE TROUBLES
    As suspected, the alliance between Sinners and Oso has been quite the annoyance to some of the Vipers crew, in particular Viper staff.  Sinners have been actively recruiting new members in last few weeks.  This growth along with the alliance has brought victories to the alliance on several occasions.  Many alliance members gathered to take out their annoyance with Viper member Moses on Tuesday leaving him quite bruised.  Though Wednesday night, Vipers did acquire a victory so perhaps it's not too discouraging to the Vipers afterall.  One thing is for certain, aggression between the Vipers and the Sinner/Oso alliance continues to grow.



OSO CLAIMS DOCKS
    Friday, a sign was seen at the docks making it appear OSO had taken over control of the docks from Vipers.  Vipers stood around staring at the sign with no clue what had happened quickly calling this person and that one to find out what was going on.  It's assumed that sometime during the night, someone removed the Viper sign replacing it with an Oso one but apparently the Vipers sign covering up the old Oso one, had merely fallen.  The problem was quickly corrected when the sign was replaced, once again, with the Viper logo.

BLOCK PARTY
    Late Thursday night, several of Syn City's residents threw a block party in the middle of the streets.  It is believed that the party was caused by the contaminated water.  Residents danced in the streets seemingly oblivious to the bullets flying about their head's.  Moses was caught once again stroking himself in public while several of the ladies felt the need to just dance in the nude.  Is it the contaminated water?  Some weird fetishes or simply too much to drink as was the case with Syn City Gazette's own Editor-in-Chief, Crissy?  Perhaps residents enjoying all the barrels of free vodka sitting about?  There's no way to know but there is however some wonderful pictures of the night's events.

COUNTRY JIG LEADS TO CANNONBALLS
    Saturday night after everyone had rocked out, thankfully without their cocks out, for the most part anyway, two banjo players decided to bless us with their version of music.  Citizens stood by dancing and listening as the banjo's played and Smokey told stories of little johnny.  Unfortunately, the fun was short-lived when a Pimp and what appears to be a Pimptress got into it over a hoe.  Who knew a hoe could lead to bloodshed...but alas, it did and that bloodshed lead to Syn Citizens becoming cannonballs flying through the air across the City.  The depth of the injuries are unknown at this time but everyone seemed to have fun with it....except for a few of course.

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Page 2: Announcements & Events
((IC & OOC))
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THE DATING GAME
     The Dating Game is coming to Syn City hosted by the Syn City Gazette!  The date and time will be announced in the future but the Syn City Gazette is asking for contestants.  If you are interested in possibly being a contestant on the live show that will take place at the radio station, drop a note in the mailbox located outside the Gazette offices.  Read below for more information.

What is the Dating Game?

     The Dating Game is a game show where there is a single guy and three girls. Both, the guys       and the girls will be blindfolded having no idea who the others are. The guy asks the three girls various questions until he finally choses one to take out on a date. The questions are up to the guy as long as they are not an attempt to try to figure out who the girls are. The girls have the right to "Plead the 5th" but doing so may limit their chances of winning the date.

Rules
1. All contestants must have RLV activated.
2. All contestants will wear a blindfold (2 different ones so that people's names are hidden as well as their screen being black).
3. Each of the three girls will be assigned a number 1, 2, or 3 and will use said number in their emotes. For example, a girl's response would look like the following: Girl 3 enjoys long walks on the beach and cuddling. The guy will do the same, referring to himself as Guy, his questions might look like the following: Girl 2, do you have any kinks and what are they?
4. The guy will have 30 minutes to ask questions. At the end of the 30 minutes, he will choose either Girl 1, 2, or 3 to go on a date with for 2 hours. The date can be arranged between the two winning contestants to be completed at their convenience.
5. Contestants are chosen by the Syn City Gazette. You do NOT get to choose who you will be on stage with.
6. If you cannot participate at the date and time assigned to you, you will inform the Gazette ASAP so arrangements can be made.
7. All contestants must agree to abide by all rules prior to participation.

CORRECTION
    Syn City Gazette would like to inform it's readers that there was some misinformation printed in the last issue.  Apparently, what was previously stated as the reason for the Mercoso name was wrong.  It was actually created by an upset citizen.  We apologize for any inconvenience. Thank you for your understanding.

SYNFUL PLEASURES
    Saturday night, Beezy rocked Syn City for their I <3 Rock and Roll Event!! From guitars to saxophones, citizens rocked the look.  Best in Rock and Roll contest winners were.............

Eva in 1st Place

Wolf in Second

Athena in Third

     Sunday afternoon was Pretty in Pink Day in support of October being breast cancer awareness month.  BOOBS..we all love them, take care of them and remember to check them regularly.  There were some big winners from the sploder, one of which was Dan so be sure to make him buy you something.  Winners of the contest were: Fail in First, Amerz in Second, and Wolf in Third.  DJ Beezy was blowin it up this weekend at Syn.  If you missed it, check us out next weekend.  Saturday nights from 7pm-9pm SLT and Sunday afternoons, 12pm-2pm SLT.  Synful Pleasures, where it's always hot.

    !!!WARNING!!!  Directly from the CDC...do NOT use any water for drinking or for bathing, it has been contaminated and is considered dangerous including bottled water.  Doing so can lead to irritated dry skin, foggy brain, memory loss, and irrational thinking as well as the Axe Effect in some citizens.  Instead, make use of the Vodka provided to the citizens of Syn City by the CDC.

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Page 3: Who's Who
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Page 4: Lifestyles
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❖ Dear Abby


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Dear Abby

I woke up from a dream last night, it started very nice.
Me and some syn hunk were fucking, but suddenly we fell over the edge of the earth.
We fell from high up in the air.
We continued to fuck while we fell.
It was this feeling you get when u fall... mixed with the ecstasy of sex.
But then the guy left me while falling, and I fell down alone and crashed.

I of course know who this guy was.. or so my mind believes, tho I didn't see his face when we were falling.

What do you think my mind is telling me.

~The messed up Hyena Ted ~


Dear Hyena Ted,
    I'm sorry that you had a dream end so horribly.  I am curious of who it was you were dreaming you were fucking however and if they are one of the men that's been affected by what's being referred to as the "Axe Effect".  I do hope that you were able to reach fulfillment before it all came to an abrupting halt but other then the aftereffects of an unfulfilled night of passion, don't see this being something to be too overly concerned with.  If you weren't able to reach fulfillment, I suggest buying yourself a vibrator or Hitachi Wand from H4L so that the next time this occurs, you can finish yourself off where your dream hunk left you hanging as men oftentimes do.

~Abby_________________________________________________________________________




**Want to ask Abby for advice? Simply drop a note in the mailbox outside Crissy's apartment behind Synful Pleasures, Dear Abby responds to everyone!**

❖ Rumor Has It
**Have you heard a rumour you want to share?  Send it to us.**

1.  Steff and Wolf's increased girth's is causing difficulties in the bedroom.
2.  Moses has been infected by the contaminated water supply in the City possibly getting dry skin, a big ego and the girls seems to fall for them as the females swarm around him according to one source.
3.  Ross has a new woman in his life.  Ross & Mira were spotted making out.  However, word on the street is, he's got other women on the side.
4.  JJ is totally enamoured by Kylie which he revealed late one night while drunk.  We all know the truth comes out when one's been drinking.  Apparently, he's too scared to tell her how he feels soooo....until after a few drinks..."its Kylie........and ......well.....I hope that we can develop into something more than friends......but it will be ultimately up to her........i am kind.....im not pushy.....and i give space where space is wanted.........but i hope......she likes me..........the way that i like her..........."  Kylie, what do you say...gonna give the guy a chance?

5.  A man that it seems everyone loves to shoot is back in town, Smokey.
6.  On the night Dan became Sere's pimp, Dan & Sere were spotted together near Sinners Motel, Sere was in a dress and they went to the club.  Though a few nights later, it didn't look like his hoe was on a leash when she shot at him.
7.  There's a new Pimp in town, Nick, is now working for the Vipers as a Pimp for H4L named Sweet Dick.
8.  Rumour has it, Gussy's got the hots for some Viper man but it isn't Mo or Dan.
9.  Wulf and Esta are engaged to be married.




❖ Shout Outs
    Wanna give a shout out to someone?  Have a message you want delivered in a different way?  Know someone with a birthday coming up and want to wish them a happy one?

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Page 5: Letter to the Editor
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    Have something you wanna say?  Here's your chance to be heard!  Send in your letters to the Editor and give yourself a voice to be heard!

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Page 6: Want Ads
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    Looking to hire?  Perhaps you're looking for a mate?  Send in your ads and who knows, you might just find what you've been looking for.

❖ The Syn City Gazette has immediate openings.  Candidates should have good writing skills and be an ACTIVE Syn City Resident.  There are a variety of positions available.  Some positions require working under tight deadlines, multi-tasking, working with the public, and covering municipal meetings, breaking news, features and other events as assigned.  Experience with photography, video and social media is preferred, but not required.  Candidates must be available to work a flexible schedule, and some weekends and holidays.  The SCG is a weekly newspaper and is located behind Syn City Bank.  Stop by for an application today!
❖  Vipers Garage is now hiring everything from pump girls and cashiers to mechanics!  No experience necessary allthough for mechanics, experience is preferred.  Stop by and put in an application or speak to Amber Venom (karmarider) today!
❖  New to Syn City and not sure where to go or what to do?  Been looking for a job and just can't seem to find one and having to live on the streets from one empty spot to the next?  If so, Holly Molly Maid's Service might be the place for you.  Holly Molly is now accepting applications.  Come visit Holly Molly down at the docks and put in your application today or contact Amber Venom (karmarider).
❖  Have you been dreaming of working in the fabulous world of radio? If so this is your chance Syn City! Your very own local radio Synful Sounds WXXX is NOW HIRING DJs! Interested? I know you are!

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Page 7: Advertisements
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    Advertise your business.  Get your name out there and make everyone aware what it is you have to offer.

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Got ideas or suggestions?  Let us know.  If you have something you'd like to include in the next issue, drop a note in the mailbox outside Syn City Gazette's Office located just behind Syn City Bank.

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DISCLAIMER: LET IT BE KNOWN, THAT NO MATTER WHAT IS WRITTEN IN THIS PUBLICATION, UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE, IT IS STRICTLY IN CHARACTER!!! I SHOULD INFORM YOU, I CONSIDER EVENTS FOR THE MOST PART IC...FOR THE MOST PART LOL.  ABSOLUTELY NO OOC INSULTS WILL EVER BE USED...EVER!!! SO IF YOU FEEL SOMETHING IS DIRECTED TOWARD YOU OOCLY, AND YOU TAKE OFFENSE, UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE MISTAKEN!!! RUMORS ARE FOR FUN ONLY, WITH NO MALICE IN MIND AND THEY ARE USUALLY NOT EVEN TRUE!!!  

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