Syn City Gazette: Issue 4

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Syn City Gazette

Issue 4

September 23, 2013

Editor-in-Chief - Crissy Forster

Price: 10 Brunsens - 1 issue, 30 Brunsens - Monthly Subscription
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Table of Contents

❖Page 1 - In the News:  Keep up-to-date on current events and what's happening in Syn City.
❖Page 2 - Announcements
❖Page 3 - Who's Who - Here, you will get to know your friends and neighbors, perhaps in a way that surprises you!
❖Page 4 - Lifestyles: Dear Abby, Rumour Has It, Shout Outs
❖Page 5 - Letter to the Editor
❖Page 6 - Want Ads
❖Page 7 - Advertisements

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Page 1: In the News
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A QUIET NIGHT LEADS TO BLOODSHED
        Late Wednesday night, a fight broke out between some Viper and DA members.  Nothing unusual or news worthy right?  Wrong.  The fight is believed to have started when a newer DA member said some things the Vipers didn't like much and ended with bloodshed.  While Moses was attempting to remove the boss of DA's eye with a knife in the DA Headquarters, other DA members watched doing nothing other then having a drink at the bar.  Eve, another DA member came up behind him putting a knife to his throat.  Crissy, moved behind Eve holding a box cutter to hers.  It was quite the intense scene, the whole drama on hold as each person waited for another to make the first move.  In the end, Wink lost an eye, Eve ended up with a slit throat and gunshot wounds, and Moses rushed to the hospital with a slit throat.  Thankfully all lived and are doing well.

DA VERSUS VIPERS
    Sunday, at the club, Wink decided to motorboat one of the Viper Bosses, Ricky.  Afterwards, he paid for it when his cock piercings were tied to his neck, shoe, and the third was used as a leash.  Attempting to lead him by the twine, he found himself falling on the floor of the Viper garage.  Attempts to help him up might have pulled one of the piercings from his cock.  Let this be a reminder, kinky foreplay can be dangerous.

    The capturing of Wink, lead to more trouble between DA and Vipers when DA found Gussy out and about by herself.  While Amber was tending to Wink, the DA was tending to Gussy.  Backup was called in and Amber left Wink to assist Gussy in which both became captives of DA.   The Police came and tried to end things peacefully but that didn't seem to be going over well as Mercenaries were hired and bullets started to fly between DA and the Vipers.  In the end, DA found their Headquarters up in flames.  Something tells me, this is just the beginning of the war between DA and Vipers.

SERE WASHES WAR VET
        An old war vet has been seen in the streets of Syn flirting with the ladies and trying to cop a feel.  As might be expected, his touching most often isn't welcomed and he's found himself lying in a pool of blood more then once but he did manage to get a sponge bath from one of Syn City's residents.

WULF ARRESTED

    Tuesday, Wulf, a member of DA was purchasing gas when a cop pulled up behind him asking for his Driver's license.  Wulf believing he had broken no laws, refused and was taken into custody.  He was arrested on charges of obstruction of justice but was shortly released after paying a fine.  Seems now that the horrible illegal is legal and legal is illegal week is over, the SCPD are out and they've got a quota to reach.  If you don't have a G&D license, I suggest getting one for 1k Brunsens, otherwise if caught you have to pay the 1k Brunsens anyway in fines and still won't have a license.

MAGAZINE COMING TO CITY
    There's a new publication coming soon to Syn City and this reporter is ecstatic!  There isn't a name yet for the magazine that's to come but from what the Editor told me, it sounds wonderful. The magazine will ultimately be on the racy side to "compliment all that is Syn" including pictures, biographies, and fictional short stories.  Not only will the magazine provide entertainment for the Citizens but could also mean future work opportunities for Syn City Citizens.  Keep a look out, the first issue should be on sale in about two weeks with a new issue coming out each month.  I don't know about my readers, but this reporter can't wait!

RULES & GUIDELINES OF SYN CITY
    I was going to write about how Petal was used as target practice after myself and another, much weaker then she was shot down because of it.  Rather then let my anger get the best of me, I decided to take the story on a different approach.  In my time here in Syn City, I've seen and heard quite a bit.  I've heard accusations and lies tossed about as if they are an everyday occurrence, which it seems they are and people shot down for no apparent reason.  Most of us have ideals in mind of how things should be but not actually are.  So, to give our readers a little something to think about, I've complied the list of guidelines below.

    1.  Make friends.  Find people who you enjoy spending time with and who enjoy spending    
    time with you.  Be loyal to those friends, or group, through thick and thin.
    2.  Find your niche.  Everyone has a place here.  Find yours but don't rush it, it'll come.
    3.  Don't talk shit if you can't back it up.  If you talk shit, expect repercussions, don't whine    
    about it after the fact saying you were bullied or jumped.  If you want to be a bad ass and run
    your mouth, be a bad ass and back it up.  Take it.
    4.  Don't accuse others of doing something and then do it yourself.  If you accuse others of    
    bullying, don't be a bully.  It makes YOU look bad.
    5.  Let bygones be bygones.  Life isn't rainbows and lollipops, shit happens.  If you dish it      
    out, take whats coming to you and let it be done.  Don't let the vicious cycle keep going.
    6.  Treat others as you wish to be treated.
    7.  Seek revenge where revenge is due.  Have a problem with someone?  Take it up with    
    them.  Taking it out on someone weaker doesn't solve anything, it just makes you look like a
    bully.
    8.  Like who YOU choose.  There is a common misconception that just because you are in a
    gang or group, you can't have friendships, or even relationships, with members in a rival
    gang.  Wrong.  Be friends with who you want.  If there is a fight between the two, fight and
    then go about your day.
    9.  Judge people on their actions.  Judge others on their actions, not what others have told
    you of their actions.  People change and grow and have different experiences with others.
    Just because one person, or a group of people, had a bad experience with someone, or a
    group, doesn't mean your experience will be the same.  Associate with them, get to know
    them, then judge for yourselves without the judgmental words of others.
    10.  Have fun.  It's why we're all here.  If you're not having fun, take a step back and refocus.
    Get back to the basics and remember why you came here in the first place.

Is this a bit opinionated?  You bet.  It's MY opinion and if you disagree with it or know of something that needs to be added, let me know.  That's what Letters to the Editor are for.  These are the ideals I try to uphold and ask that others do the same.  Anger many times gets in the way and we forget some of these basics but at the end of the day, we're here, we're alive, make the best of it.

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Page 2: Announcements & Events
((IC & OOC))
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THE DATING GAME
     The Dating Game is coming to Syn City hosted by the Syn City Gazette!  The date and time will be announced in the future but the Syn City Gazette is asking for contestants.  If you are interested in possibly being a contestant on the live show that will take place at the radio station, drop a note in the mailbox located outside the Gazette offices.  Read below for more information.

What is the Dating Game?

     The Dating Game is a game show where there is a single guy and three girls. Both, the guys       and the girls will be blindfolded having no idea who the others are. The guy asks the three girls various questions until he finally choses one to take out on a date. The questions are up to the guy as long as they are not an attempt to try to figure out who the girls are. The girls have the right to "Plead the 5th" but doing so may limit their chances of winning the date.

Rules
1. All contestants must have RLV activated.
2. All contestants will wear a blindfold (2 different ones so that people's names are hidden as well as their screen being black).
3. Each of the three girls will be assigned a number 1, 2, or 3 and will use said number in their emotes. For example, a girl's response would look like the following: Girl 3 enjoys long walks on the beach and cuddling. The guy will do the same, referring to himself as Guy, his questions might look like the following: Girl 2, do you have any kinks and what are they?
4. The guy will have 30 minutes to ask questions. At the end of the 30 minutes, he will choose either Girl 1, 2, or 3 to go on a date with for 2 hours. The date can be arranged between the two winning contestants to be completed at their convenience.
5. Contestants are chosen by the Syn City Gazette. You do NOT get to choose who you will be on stage with.
6. If you cannot participate at the date and time assigned to you, you will inform the Gazette ASAP so arrangements can be made.
7. All contestants must agree to abide by all rules prior to participation.

CORRECTION
    Syn City Gazette would like to inform it's readers that there was some misinformation printed in the last issue.  Apparently, what was previously stated as the reason for the Mercoso name was wrong.  It was actually created by an upset citizen.  We apologize for any inconvenience. Thank you for your understanding.

SYNFUL PLEASURES

    Saturday night was a wicked blast when they had their Foam & Bubbles Event!  DJ Wink rocked the club while the rest of us were naughty in our bubbles.  Some of the guys wore a towel or nothing at all!  One citizen was even spotted stroking himself in the middle of the dance floor.  DJ Wink's sexy lovin music thrown in time to time didn't help matters any.  I'm fairly certain women went home wet and I do believe I seen a couple men walking as if it pained them to do so.  Winners were Amelia, Wink, and Amber.

Sunday everyone came out and celebrated Craig's Birthday with their Best in Serial Event with DJ Ricky bringing the tunes.  The winners were Craig, Eva, and Agent.  Craig, even popped out of the birthday cake!










  !!!WARNING!!!  All citizens be advised, due to recent possible water contamination, Citizens are urged to drink only bottled water and to boil water for bathing until future consent to do otherwise is given.  If you are experiencing stomach issues, diarrhea, or skin conditions including but not limited to narcosis, report to the Hospital immediately!  Stay out of the lake!  The warning is still in effect and we are awaiting more information from the CDC who is collaborating with the SCPD in this investigation.

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Page 3: Who's Who
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   This week's Who's Who is Shink Daddy from Sinners.  Shink is a tattoo artist in town who owns the tattoo parlor behind H4L.  In his younger days, Shink was a Seargent in the Army fighting in Bosnia, Kosovo, Haiti, Iraq, and Afghanistan.  He believes he is "good with delegating authority and getting the job done".  While in Haiti, Shink learned some of the Haitian Voodoo due to a favor he did for a high ranking Voodoo Priest.  He's never been married and has no children not being one for relationships but prefers the rush and blood lust of battles.  His loyalty to the Sinners seems to be the one constant in his life.  He is loyal to who he's loyal to and outside of that circle, cares for no one.  He doesn't seem to be a man for emotional ties while still claiming he has empathy for others.  For Shink, respect and honor are two words full of meaning.  Earn honor and give respect where respect is due.  Revealed further down in this paper, you'll find that Shink also fills his time by being a Mercenary who wears his favorite color, red.  Shink thinks of himself as a torture artist putting great time and thought into how to torture those who cross him.  He enjoys torture when done in what he referred to as a "artistic way".  He lives by the old saying "You reap...what you sow." For more about Shink, read the transcribed interview below.  

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Page 4: Lifestyles
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❖ Dear Abby
Dear Abby,
 I am a reader of you but much more a writer, because I like write so good! But not write serious things, but just gossip about people! and of course I fake them as some are not real! I see a lot of people that is most better then me, so I write gossip about them trying to ruin their reputation not having a good one of mine! Please, how can I live without this sickness feeling! I can't sleep the night! Ty for your help!

Myself is a bitch!

Dear Ms. Bitch,
I think you need to seek actual counseling, I hear the lawyer in town is a good one. A close friend would work as well. You need to find the source where your anger comes from.
The people you gossip about may have things you want; instead of trying to create a rumor or take them down verbally maybe study them instead and figure out how to take on that attribute that you want so badly.
You don't see any top dogs out there who got on top by smearing names of others. They get on top because they bust their ass and take the right steps.
When you lay down in bed instead of thinking of a "good rumor" to start think of one thing you'd like to improve about yourself. Remember, you don't always have to take steps in the wrong direction to get where you'd like to be.
Yours truly,
Ms. Abby

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dear abby

teh rumor of clap spreeding in city is 100% tru. i started it. im scared ppl kno. i hav big nasty fucken bumps on my cunt dat fucken itch. my pimps say to keep fucking for teh money. we r scared rival gang wil take all bizness wen ppl find out. i feel guitly to continue. i wish it disappeers. wat shuld i do abby? fucken help me. my coworkers say hand sanitizer is lik magic. is dat tru?

hoe

Dear Hoe,
I find it hard to believe you'd be so direct in your letter and revealing who you are knowing the letter would be published in the paper.  Add to that the fact that just last week, the paper wrote about the spread of clap and I can only surmise that you aren't a Hoe for the group you stated you were but in fact are someone attempting to ruin the good name of the group which I will not be a part of.  For that reason, the name of the group you mentioned, has been removed.  Dear Abby's are for serious questions only.  It is not a forum to be used to acquire defamation of character charges.  I suggest you speak to someone for help in dealing with your jealousy issues.  If you do in fact have the issues mentioned in your letter and were simply pretending to be another, hand sanitizer isn't going to fix it.  You need to get to the Hospital immediately so they can help you with your problems.  I might also suggest that you take time during your free time to attend school seeing as your letter is VERY poorly written with many errors in spelling, punctuation, and capitalization just to name a few.  I also advise you to remember to always use condoms.  If your employer won't provide them for you, ask your local Hospital who may give you some for free to reduce the risk of spreading future STD's you might acquire.

Best of luck,
Abby
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**Want to ask Abby for advice? Simply drop a note in the mailbox outside Crissy's apartment behind Synful Pleasures, Dear Abby responds to everyone!**

❖ Rumor Has It
**Have you heard a rumour you want to share?  Send it to us.**

1.  The real Deadpool has been revealed to be none other then the master of multiple personalities...drum roll please...Shink!
2.  Word on the street is, JJ's got game.  No, I don't mean a Facebook game or a basketball game butttt game with the ladies.
3.  JJ has the hotts for Kylie but also wants to collar Petal too now that she's uncollared.  Kylie and Petal both have the hotts for Moses.  It's unknown who Moses has the hots for, he's stubborn.

4.  Mira removes panties at Moses' command at her own will with no threat to her person.  Does she have a crush on Moses?  Is she his new slave?  Does she remove her panties for every man that tells her to?  Why not ask her to and find out?

5.  Fyng has dubbed Halo the Queen of BJ's.  Any who wish to dispute that claim, contact Officer Fyng.  Halo disagrees even after being shown others she'd sucked.  She also stated that there are 2 suckable cocks in Syn City though she wouldn't state who those two were.  If you think you're one of them, hit her up, you might walk away a happy man.


6.  Wulf, a DA member and Estaryia, a Sinner member are "hooking up".  Are they just fucking or is Estaryia his new woman?
7.  Wink and Mo share a cock pump but according to Wulf, Mo is more feminine than Wink and Wulf wants in on the action.  Wulf states that it's not considered gay if you suck a cock, only if you swallow or cum during the action.
8.  Estaryia is earning a reputation of getting others riled up then running right before the bullets start to fly only to later return in the hopes of a sneak attack from behind.

9.  Sinner Boss is being cheated on by her long so-called loyal husband Zeke, with the local old army vet. 

❖ Shout Outs
    Wanna give a shout out to someone?  Have a message you want delivered in a different way?  Know someone with a birthday coming up and want to wish them a happy one?

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Page 5: Letter to the Editor
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    Have something you wanna say?  Here's your chance to be heard!  Send in your letters to the Editor and give yourself a voice to be heard!

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Page 6: Want Ads
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    Looking to hire?  Perhaps you're looking for a mate?  Send in your ads and who knows, you might just find what you've been looking for.

❖  Wiseguys is seeking to hire bartenders and dancers.  Applicants must be good at handling money and an active Syn City resident.  Good looks and sense of style are a plus.  Applicant must be available to work three shifts or more each week.  Apply now by contacting Steffie Mason (Steffie Manen) or Wolf Mason (ArnoldSmithy Resident).
❖  Oasis Casino is now hiring!  There are a variety of positions available.  Applicants must be good at administrating money and be an active Syn City resident.  Applicant will be expected to work three shifts a week.  Good looks and a sense of style are a plus.  Apply now by contacting Agent (Carlos MacAlpine) or Eva Smith (Evafire Resident).

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Page 7: Advertisements
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    Advertise your business.  Get your name out there and make everyone aware what it is you have to offer.

❖Car been breaking down on you lately?  Will your bike just not start?  Been hearing funny clinking sounds when you go out for a drive?  Does everyone yell at you to "Fix your shit" when you drive down the road due to a loud screeching sound more annoying then nails on a blackboard?  Bring your vehicle to Viper's Garage and have it fixed today.  Don't get laughed at for the putt putt puttering of your car's engine.
❖With all the corruption of the big boys in Syn City it's easy to forget that there is someone looking out for what's the little people's interests. Me. I'm Elise Fugazi and I am a newly minted Defense Attorney here to protect the little people. Whether it be little things like rape, to bigger things like murder I'm here to make sure you all get off scot free with little to pay to Syn City...because why give your money to SCPD when you can give it to me?
Contact Elise Fugazi for all your needs!
❖Have you noticed a stench lately?  Tired of stepping through dirt and over trash around your home or office?  Then HOLLY MOLLY MAID SERVICE is just for you!  No home or office is too dirty nor stench too horrific for the wonderful people at Holly Molly.  They'll leave your home or business looking and smelling like new.  Contact Holly Molly today for an appointment.  They can be located on the SS HOLLYMOLLY at the Syn City Docks.

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Got ideas or suggestions?  Let us know.  If you have something you'd like to include in the next issue, drop a note in the mailbox outside Syn City Gazette's Office located just behind Syn City Bank.

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DISCLAIMER: LET IT BE KNOWN, THAT NO MATTER WHAT IS WRITTEN IN THIS PUBLICATION, UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE, IT IS STRICTLY IN CHARACTER!!! I SHOULD INFORM YOU, I CONSIDER EVENTS FOR THE MOST PART IC...FOR THE MOST PART LOL.  ABSOLUTELY NO OOC INSULTS WILL EVER BE USED...EVER!!! SO IF YOU FEEL SOMETHING IS DIRECTED TOWARD YOU OOCLY, AND YOU TAKE OFFENSE, UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE MISTAKEN!!! RUMORS ARE FOR FUN ONLY, WITH NO MALICE IN MIND AND THEY ARE USUALLY NOT EVEN TRUE!!!  

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