Syn City Gazette: Issue 11

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Syn City Gazette

Issue 11

November 11, 2013

Editor-in-Chief - Crissy Forster

Price: 10 Brunsens - 1 issue, 30 Brunsens - Monthly Subscription
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Table of Contents

❖Page 1 - In the News:  Keep up-to-date on current events and what's happening in Syn City.
❖Page 2 - Announcements
❖Page 3 - Who's Who - Here, you will get to know your friends and neighbors, perhaps in a way that surprises you!

❖Page 4 - Lifestyles: Dear Abby, Rumour Has It, Shout Outs

❖Page 5 - Creative Writing Shared
❖Page 6 - Letter to the Editor
❖Page 7 - Want Ads
❖Page 8 - Advertisements

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Page 1: In the News
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A MESSAGE FROM THE MAYOR

    With the results of the election fresh in everyone's mind, the Gazette wanted to be the first to meet with the Mayor and obtain a quick interview.  The meeting was brief but quite informative as well as hopeful.  Already, the Mayor, Deputy Mayor and Council Members have taken action by having their first council meeting.  On the agenda was an official meet & greet, a discussion on standard meeting procedures, the Council Forums, the new jobs program passed by the last council, and the Deputy Mayor's economic proposal.  Council meetings are public and anyone can attend though are asked to be respectful and follow procedures.

    Not everyone voted for Whacked or Dolly to win but this reporter believes that soon they will see that Syn City will be a much nicer place with them involved.  The best way to keep up-to-date on the new Mayor's activities is through his blog which can be found at http://www.whackeddestiny.blogspot.com.  A short version of his message to the city was...

                    "there is an opportunity right now for the new council to really
                    do great things and provide work and lots of action. I'd like to
                    reach out to all citizens and ask for just a little patience while
                    we get going, but encourage all citizens to bring us their ideas
                    on how to make the city a better place. And by the way, shooting
                    each other is never going to be a problem for me, I rather enjoy
                    the exercise, don't you? It's a shame I had to quit the PD and will
                    have to find a replacement at NUTHOUSE, Inc, but my service to
                    the city must take priority, it's my purpose in life to provide the
                    shining beacon of hope that all may use to find their way."
                   

    When asked if he believed those that were elected in the past elections are the best suited for the positions, he responded...

                    "I will say this, there are some councilors who are serious, and
                    some who have not earned that reputation yet, but I know how
                    to run meetings and I know that group decisions are best made
                    with good conversation among people who don't always agree.
                    So I have high hopes for the council and I have asked them all,
                    now that they've gotten themselves into this, to take it seriously.
                    Our relationships outside the council chambers must remain
                    outside, because honestly if destruction and drama are the only
                    constants we will always have what we have now. I remember
                    better times, and when it was better it was because we had leaders
                    leading with a serious, active and engaged attitude. I believe that
                    is the right way to go, and that is what I want this council to work
                    toward."

               

    For those who may have doubts about the new Mayor, they should be appeased with the above messages, for it seems that the once believed to be "jokester" does indeed take his new position seriously.  His door is always open and he takes "the overwhelming endorsement of the people as final confirmation of my elevation to be the supreme leader of the miserable bastards who make Syn City their home. My bright beacon of hope, my very life shall serve as a brilliant template by which other leaders are measured, and by which the youngsters may model their lives."  How can such hope from a Mayor not lead to hope within the citizens of the City in which he now leads?

!!!BATMAN REVEALED!!!

    We've all seen him running about here and there causing one mischief after another and wondered who was the man behind the mask.  Well now you know...the one known as Batman is actually none other then.....drum roll please.....the new Mayor...Whacked.  He was captured after recently trying to force Cosmo to drink an unidentified liquid that had been sent to her by a "concerned" citizen...one that was concerned for her baby's welfare, the baby which according to her, she's not pregnant with afterall.   After he was taken down, his masked was removed and the truth man behind the mask revealed.

WHACKED RESIGNS FROM SCPD

    Tuesday after hearing the results of the election and after what I'm sure was an appropriate amount of celebrating with his staff, Whacked announced his resignation as police chief with the letter below...

                        "Dear Chief,

                        I, Officer Doctor Whackadeaux Amadeus Allouicious Frederico Billy Bob      

                        Claremont Ferdinand Von Destiny III, must officially resign my commission    

                        as Chief Psychologist for SCPD as well as my position as Patrol Officer. WhiIe

                        love the SCPD I must think first of the good of the department, and since    

                        today I was discovered to be working as a mercenary, moonlighting for      

                        campaign cash, I must resign effective immediately.

                        I am profoundly sorry both for the dark stain this will leave on the              

                        department as well as the deep void my absence will leave within the        

                        ranks. I hope that in time the Police force can recover from the loss of me.  

                        I know it will be tough, but as Mayor I will try to help as best I can.

                        Thank you for believing,

                        Doctor Dubya"

    Thank you for for your time serving on the SCPD Whacked.  The City looks forward to seeing the great heights you will take us to in the future.

UNOFFICIAL POLL

                                           

    Apparently there was an unofficial poll of the ladies and men in Syn compiled.  It is unknown how many participated.  For all the Gazette knows, it could be one person's opinion.  However, it might make you think while also making you curious.  It is also unknown who left us the list buttttt it is a list of what they refer to as "The Banger List and the Leave em List".  What you see, is what we know so you're left to figure out what it all means yourself.  In no way does the Gazette endorse nor agree with this list.  However, it does make one wonder.  Sooooo since the Gazette disagrees with MANY in this list, we're making our own!  We're asking all of our subscribers to pick 3  people for each category.  We want to make sure the poll is actually a poll and not just someone's opinion.

Banger list female                                      Banger list male
1.    Halo                                                      1.    Whacked
2.    Lynsey                                                   2.    Joniel
3.    Smex                                                    3.    Shink
4.    Cecile                                                   4.    Crisis
5.    Sam                                                      5.    Wolf mason
6.    Crissy                                                   6.    Dan ven
7.    Angel ven                                             7.    Black
8.    Dolly                                                     8.    Von
9.    Carensia                                               9.    JJ
10.    Precious                                             10.    Shawn

Leave em list female                                    Leave em list male
1.    Amber                                                    1.    Alister
2.    Fail                                                          2.    Moses
3.    Petal                                                       3.    Nick Falcone
4.    Cosmo                                                   4.    Icarus
5.    Diamond                                                 5.    Fredo
6.    Estaryia                                                  6.    Accolon
7.    Fiona                                                       7.    Weeman
8.    Athena                                                    8.    Damen
9.    Kylie                                                       9.    Zeke
10.    Snarkie                                               10.    Agent

FIRST COUNCIL MEETING

    Thursday, the newly elected Mayor, Deputy Mayor and Council met for the first time with all but one in attendance.  After introducing themselves they immediately went to work on the hot topic on the agenda, the economy. The new council reviewed the previous council's jobs bill that never was implemented and discussed ways of doing so. Then the discussion turned towards new ideas such as a receipts system that could be used as a economic indicator on how much business is actually being done.  It was decided that Whacked or Dolly would attend each and every council meeting and that the meetings will take place at various times in order for all to participate.  The official discussion boards can be found at http://syncitycouncil.boards.net/index.cgi where all proposals and minutes of meetings will be posted though voting will only take place at council meetings.  During the meeting, the Council discussed the new Job Program passed into law by the last Council and Dolly's economic proposal.  It was decided the economic proposal will wait until Dolly has finished making modifications to the new Job Program which at the moment appears to be a phased approach with a setup of salaries for certain positions within the City.  The Council plans to meet every other Thursday but the next meeting will be held on the 14th due to the coming Holiday.

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Page 2: Announcements & Events
((IC & OOC))
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2013 ELECTION RESULTS

    Tuesday, the 2013 Election Results were released to the public.  The Gazette would like to send a personal thank you to all the Synizens that participated and voted to have their say.  Congratulations to those that won and thank you to all who ran.  The votes were counted then counted again.  The results of the election are listed below.

     ► Mayor: Whacked Destiny
     ► Deputy Mayor: Dolly Swizzle
     ► Council:
            Eva Smith
            Dina Ormidale
            Amber Venom
            Shink Daddy
            Cosmo Monroe

    Thank you as well to our outgoing Mayor and Council for all they've done.  May the next year be a fruitful one for our wonderful Syn City with the leadership that's been elected.  I know there's already been talk between the Mayor and Deputy Mayor who plan to work together along with the Council to make our City even better then it already is.

SYN CITY HOSPITAL GETS NEW ADMINISTRATOR

    Saturday a press release from the Mayor's office announced a new Administrator for Syn City Hospital.  The outgoing Administrator, Puddin, made the appointment which was confirmed by the Mayor.  Mayor Destiny visited the new Administrator, Edward Thorne, in his home to deliver the good news personally.  Having personally spoken with the new Administrator, it's already clear he's got big ideas on how to improve health care for Synizens.  For more information, see Mr. Thorne in his new office at the Hospital.

SYN CITY GAZETTE ONLINE

    Syn City's favorite newspaper, Syn City Gazette is now available online for those who have subscriptions at http://syncitygazette.blogspot.com/.  There's still more work to be done so things are not final yet but we didn't want to hold back any longer seeing as there's some that's been wanting us to be online since we started.  Any questions, concerns, or ideas...contact us.  We want to hear it!

LOST & FOUND

    Sunday an envelope was found outside the Gazette.  If you have lost one, please contact the Gazette or Crissy Forster to describe it's contents and retrieve it.

SYNFUL PLEASURES

    Synful Pleasures hosts events every Saturday from 7 - 9 pm SLT and Sundays from 12 - 2 pm SLT.  Saturday night everyone came out dressed in feathers and fur.  There were simple outfits from dresses to more complicated outfits that had them covered head to toe in fur.  All who came out though definitely enjoyed themselves and thankfully no one was tared and feathered in order to keep with the theme.....I don't think. Minx, Kyoko, and Acc brought home the prices for best costumes.

    Sunday everyone was able to just roll out of bed and slip on over for the Pajama Party!  From lingerie to robes and curlers, one thing's for sure, everyone looked amazing!  Surprisingly enough with all the beds and sleeping bags around, no one fucked...surprisingly enough buttttt fun was had and that's what matters!

!!!WARNING LIFTED!!!

    Directly from the CDC...It is now safe to use the City's water as well as drink the bottled water being imported in by the Bodega.  The City's water is clean and safe once again!  No more shit lake!

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Page 3: Who's Who
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   In this week's Who's Who, is the Viper Princess herself....Maya Venom.  Maya is the Sergent at Arms of the Vipers as well as the CEO of Hoes 4 Less, a well established business in Syn.  Not only that but she also holds the title of Princess in the Viper Royal family.

    Maya doesn't like to reveal too much when it comes to her family and secrets unknown to most at the risk of damaging the future peace and prosperity of the Kingdom of Syn out of fear that enemies will try to twist what is said and make it part of an ongoing conspiracy.  She did however speak of the ancient Viper stone tablets that have been passed down by her ancestors by a Seer who predicted things that would happen in the future.  Apparently an old Mystic of the family said that there would be a time that evil forces would form Confederacies that would challenge the righteous period of peace that the Viper Dynasty would usher in.  The Mystic spoke of three Confederacies that would arise through time.  The first two would have leaders and the third would appear leaderless.  The "Confederacies of Falsehood" would claim a higher standard of morals and would begin a conspiracy to make the Vipers look like they were the masters of evil.  The Confederates would claim that the Vipers would use tactics that were immoral and wrong but eventually, the same actions they accused the Vipers of, they would assume themselves.  The Confederates would enjoy a time of success and prosperity for a time, falsehood would spread far and wide in the Kingdom of Syn.  She doesn't know if that time is now or not but what the Mystic said si that after the difficulty and oppression by the Confederates, the people of Syn would clamor for change and the Royal family of Vipers would assume the throne of the Kingdom of Syn then another 1,000 years of Pax Viperosa, righteous period of peace brought by the Viper Dynasty, would endure.

    When asked about her Council past and the possibilities of running for another term in the future, she stated that she wouldn't be rerunning.  She also stated "Council is very bureaucratic and very difficult to see changes.  I'm a Royalist, and I believe that democracy isn't all that its cracked out to be, we need a royal family to rule the Kingdom of Syn."

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Page 5: Lifestyles
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❖ Dear CosmoGirl


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**Want to ask Cosmo Girl for advice? Simply drop a note in the mailbox outside the Gazette behind Syn City Bank, Cosmo Girl responds to everyone!**  ((NOTE: Crissy rewrites all Dear Cosmo Girl's before handing them over to Cosmo to answer so they can be kept anonymous.))

❖ Rumor Has It
**Have you heard a rumour you want to share?  Send it to us.**

1.  Petal and Cecile declared their love for each other in Oso park when Petal submitted to Cecile.  Apparently the lack of men have brought them together and allowed them to find love in each other.

2.  Von, Snarkie, and Athy are enjoying a polyamorous relationship.  Yep that's right folks...a threesome...everynight...one guy..two girls...so far it's workin for them.  I wonder what her husband, Nick thinks about it.

3.  Two Rumours in one....apparently one member of DA deals Meth and Shink, one of our City's new Council members, is a buyer of meth.

4.  It's official....Cosmo is NOT pregnant despite the rumours.

5.  Apparently there's new love blooming within the Vipers organization between two of the younger members, Gussy and Fredo.  Fredo's been staying at Gussy's SEVERAL days now, ever since Dan's move to the other side of town.  Word is though, that Fredo and Kyra from DA are "fuck buddies".  Is Fredo with Gussy and fucking Kyra on the side?

6.  Rumor has it that Carly ... former PD Chief at Syn was caught hanging around Vipers...alive.  Has the former Viper-hater decided Vipers aren't so bad after all?

7.  Drug dealers are in the spirit of the season, they are using autumn decorations such as pumpkins to hide cocaine.

8.  Kyoko and Amy are apparently engaged but have been keeping it on the hush hush! Could the new stranger in town by the name of Axel be the cause? Rumor is he is an ex of one of the twins and has come back to town to make his claim! He's supposedly threatened to rape them and a kos was immediately placed on his head! But it seems that Axel has forgotten all about the twins in favor of Dire and Shink!

9.  Fyng has been on a rampage arresting women left and right on trumped up charges, or no charges at all. Could sexual frustrations be the cause of his aggressiveness?

10.  Friday afternoon a large group of Sinner and OSO women bared their boobs in protest of the law against women going topless. The protest was led by Snarkie and Fail, pretty soon the group was joined by men who also bared the manboobs.  Eva head of OSO was rumored to have joined the festivities as well.

11.  Carensia is pregnant and the father could be one of 5 guys.

**Have you heard a rumour you want to share?  Send it to us.**

❖ Shout Outs

Everyone be sure to wish Dire a merry, happy, wonderful birthday!  Today is his day.  He's one year older and one year wiser...so they say.  Give him a smack on the ass and wish him a good day!

    Wanna give a shout out to someone?  Have a message you want delivered in a different way?  Know someone with a birthday coming up and want to wish them a happy one?

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Page 6: Creative Writing Shared
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Cut
Written by: Crissy Forster

I hurt, I ache.
I think of all, I cannot take.

I cut myself. I feel the pain.
I feel the blood pour out my veins.

I have to feel it, feel the pain.
It tells me it's real, I'm still living in hell.

Hell...it is my life. I don't cut myself, To end my pain.
But, to feel the pain of my life.

I begin to cut, but I can't stop.
Next thing I know, the beating stops.

Have something you've written you want to share? Send it in to the Gazette and share your talents with Synizens.

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Page 7: Letter to the Editor
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    Have something you wanna say?  Here's your chance to be heard!  Send in your letters to the Editor and give yourself a voice to be heard!

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Page 8: Want Ads
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    Looking to hire?  Perhaps you're looking for a mate?  Send in your ads and who knows, you might just find what you've been looking for.  Want Ads cost 10 Brunsens a week.  Price subject to change.

❖  Currently The Brewery and Hard Target (gun shop) are looking for a few good workers. Contact Fiona Allen (FionaRaeAllen Resident) for more information. Please keep in mind that the ideal candidate will have experience working at a bar for The Brewery positions and gun experience is preferred for the Hard Target positions, but we are willing to make exceptions for the right candidate.

❖  Vipers Garage is now hiring everything from pump girls and cashiers to mechanics!  No experience necessary although for mechanics, experience is preferred.  Stop by and put in an application or speak to Amber Venom (karmarider) today!

❖  New to Syn City and not sure where to go or what to do?  Been looking for a job and just can't seem to find one and having to live on the streets from one empty spot to the next?  If so, Holly Molly Maid's Service might be the place for you.  Holly Molly is now accepting applications.  Come visit Holly Molly down at the docks and put in your application today or contact Amber Venom (karmarider).

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Page 9: Advertisements
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    Advertise your business for 20 Brunsen's a week.  Price subject to change.  Get your name out there and make everyone aware what it is you have to offer.

❖  Looking for something warm and moist to eat?  Have you been craving meat?  Come on out to Moretti's where they're always serving up the hot stuff.  Wednesday's all Medium pizzas are just 10 B and on Fridays, it's buy one get one FREE.

❖  Been feeling dirty lately?  Have issues with walking around wet?  Well come on over to Sinner's Garage where they're now offering a fun car wash service!  You don't have to ride around in that dirty ride or worry about walking around wet after washing it yourself...not anymore!  Drop by and let us wax you up!

❖  The Brewery is a quaint little microbrewery and bar, hidden down in the heart of the city. We pride ourselves on having the largest selection of beers, wines and spirits, as well as our own micro-brews and liquors. Come join us for a chat by the fire, a game of darts, a cigar among friends or just a quiet drink in Syn City's little secret hideaway. We look forward to serving you, your friends Whacked Destiny and Fiona Rae Allen.

The Brewery. Where you're always at home.

The Brewery is located underneath the Hard Target gun shop, just walk on into Hard Target, located near the church, and head down the stairs into Syn City's best kept secret.

❖  Need guns? Ammo? Sling-shot? Weapon repair or cleaning? Well then you are in luck! Hard Target has everything you need to survive in this crazy city where you can get shot at the drop of a hat. Come on down to Syn City's only legal supplier of weapons and ammo. We are located right next to the church.

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Got ideas or suggestions? Let us know. If you have something you'd like to include in the next issue, drop a note in the mailbox outside Syn City Gazette's Office located just behind Syn City Bank.

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DISCLAIMER: LET IT BE KNOWN, THAT NO MATTER WHAT IS WRITTEN IN THIS PUBLICATION, UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE, IT IS STRICTLY IN CHARACTER!!! I SHOULD INFORM YOU, I CONSIDER EVENTS FOR THE MOST PART IC...FOR THE MOST PART LOL.  ABSOLUTELY NO OOC INSULTS WILL EVER BE USED...EVER!!! SO IF YOU FEEL SOMETHING IS DIRECTED TOWARD YOU OOCLY, AND YOU TAKE OFFENSE, UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE MISTAKEN!!! RUMORS ARE FOR FUN ONLY, WITH NO MALICE IN MIND AND THEY ARE USUALLY NOT EVEN TRUE!!!   HAVE A PROBLEM WITH WHAT IS OR HAS BEEN WRITTEN HERE?  DON'T READ IT.
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